Blog Post: Is Attachment Parenting Too Attached?

I think everyone has seen it by now. I am referring to the latest issue of Time Magazine. You know, the one with the 26-year-old mom breastfeeding her nearly 4-year-old son as he stands on a chair to reach the target. The magazine headline is "Are You Mom Enough?" The picture in question is apparently an example of "attachment parenting." According to Attachment Parenting International website, attachment parenting is defined as:

"....... forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we'd like them to interact with others."

I really don't intend to judge whether people who embrace attachment parenting are right or wrong, but I admit that I do struggle to understand the rationale behind some of their methods. With the subject fresh on the minds of the media and public I have heard some parents who enthusiastically tell about having their three year olds strapped to their torsos for hours at a time to provide the feeling of security that, I'm assuming, a kangeroo's "roo" feels.

What confuses me is that I kind of thought that the idea of raising children is to help them and show them how to be independent as soon as it's developmentally possible. I'm not sure I understand why a parent would carry a three year old who can walk for themselves or let a five year old wear diapers when potty training is attainable for most at a much earlier age.

I'm probably out of touch here. New approaches to how we live our lives will always emerge in a progressive society. And old guys like me will always try to figure them out. But will they all be headed in the right direction? I can't answer that. . I'm curious though about how some of the attachment parenting methods will benefit the child later in life. Won't it make it more difficult for the child to leave Mommy when it comes time to go to school?  Will it encourage independence in the child when that element in life is what can sometimes determine success or failure? Is the notion of having the child physically close at all times benefiting the parent more than the child? I don't have answers. These are just things I am wondering about as I read about attachment parenting.

If we take another look at API's website definition of Attachment Parenting, it reads that attachment parenting seeks to create strong bonds between parent and child. Is that inferring that any other form of parenting fails at achieving that goal? I'm just asking. The definition encourages attachment parents to treat children with kindness, respect and dignity. I have no problem with that ideal. I would say most parents try to achieve that goal. But does the parent ALWAYS treat the child child with kindness, respect and dignity in attachment parenting? If so, great. But what happens if other kids or people outside the home DON'T treat the child that way? Will the child in question be able to cope or deal with it?

I'm just playing devil's advocate here. I'm not suggesting that attachment parenting is merely a societal fad created by parents who don't want their children to grow up. I think many of us have embraced some of their principles in how we have dealt with our own children. But I guess I have to pose this theory: in nature and life, the general idea is for the Mama bird to push the baby out of the nest, so it can fly on it's own and no longer need the parent to lead a satisfying and productive life. Now, while I understand that the attachment parenting usually isn't embraced much past age 6, I would hope that all of those kids find a way to fly when the time comes. But then, who's to say they won't?