What Experts Say Is Wrong With Our Children

I knew a distressed mother who was raising three boys as a single mother and at the time her boys were ages 11,9 and 6. She was most concerned about the six year old because the boy would go into uncontrolled rages in which he would attack his brothers with fists, objects and even a knife one time. She didn't know what to do. I suggested that she needed to seek professional help for the boy immediately. She thought that his behavior was just simple childhood defiance. It wasn't. Something more serious was going on and it needed attention.

Experts in pediatric medicine are somewhat at odds over what is happening with children these days. There seems to be more kids who are acting out in extreme ways. Pediatricians and Psychiatrists are seeing pre-schoolers who are already having behavior issues and are completely out of control. They are diagnosing these children has having bi-polar disorder, opposition defiant disorder, conduct disorder, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, or depression-if they get a diagnosis at all.

Experts have now added a new disorder to the mix: Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder to the mix. However, there is no scientific evidence that warrants recognition of this new mental disorder. Apparently, the chief purpose of this new disorder is that it allows doctors and therapists to reclassify children previously diagnosed as having bi-polar disorder.

This new disorder identifies children who exhibit severe, recurrent temper outbursts and who are generally angry, sad and negative the majority of the time.  This new disorder identification is all well and good, yet too many parents  struggle with the lack of options that will actually help their child. It's a conundrum, for sure.

The standard practice in cases of treating conduct or behavior disorders is to take the child to a psychiatrist or Counselor who will provide various forms of therapies and medications. But some parents resist these options, and these options don't always work on every child. Some of the medications and solutions that are provided can even do more harm than good.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD when he was younger and while he ended up seeing various experts, I was never convinced that they helped that much with the challenges he was facing in his life. (This was after three years of treatments) These experts obviously helped to a degree, but it was difficult to measure how much they helped. That insecurity in being unable to measure progress at times and what is working and what is not tends to make the situation even more frustrating for parent and child.

I was resolved that I didn't want my son drugged out with ritalin or something worse. We did try a mild medication that helped him focus better in school and I was fine with that. It didn't alter his personality or have detrimental effects on him. But any drug can have a different effect on a different child. You just never know.

Fortunately, the actions that I took worked well for my son. He graduated from High School, successfully completed a full program of study at a technical college and seems to be pretty content these days. But it was a difficult road getting there at times.

I would encourage any parents who have a child that is having extreme problems with behaviors or self-esteem to get help immediately. Being in denial or trying to ignore behaviors that are not within a "normal" range will not help your child. Staying involved and focused on their needs is of primary importance. If they need counseling; provide it. If they could benefit from medication, try it (but ask about any side-effects first!). If you are completely against both counseling and medication, reach out and get whatever help that you are comfortable with.

Some situations go way beyond normal parenting requirements and there's no shame in asking for assistance; especially when your child's welfare and over-all well-being is at stake. Don't be too concerned about any labels someone wants to assign to your child. Focus instead on what can be done to help them improve the quality of their lives.

For more information on this new behavior disorder and on treating children try:

http://www.latimes.com/health/la-he-child-temper-20111010,0,3234089.story