Growing Good Eaters

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.  ~Fran Lebowitz

Initially, both my children were adventurous eaters. Tofu, blueberries, okra—you name it, they tried it…and liked it. I was thrilled at the prospect of culinary adventures to come.

Then my daughter turned two.  Suddenly, she became the dreaded stereotypical picky eater. When it was my son’s turn, he became even pickier than my daughter.

Additionally, my children developed bizarre eating schedules.  My son turned into a kind of hobbit, except that instead of “second breakfast,” he also enjoys thirds and fourths. My daughter will eat reasonably for all three meals, but between the hours of 2-5 pm, my dainty little girl morphs into a black hole of snacks.  Any edible treat that draws near gets sucked into her vacuum and disappears into the abyss. 

Between their individual tastes and eating patterns, I could either let them rot from the junk they eat or spend all day just on food planning and preparation (and that is before I throw my husband into the mix).  Here are a few things I have learned to preserve my family’s health and my sanity.

Plan ahead

Obviously, it is not a good idea to let my children have free rein in their snack selection, but that means I have to plan ahead (as a natural improviser, I am learning this is my mantra for good parenting). 

I try to stock our fridge and pantry with fruits, veggies, yogurt, string cheese, whole grain crackers or pretzels, baked (instead of fried) chips and buy less nutritious treats sparingly. I do as much prep as I can ahead of time (washing, slicing, bagging, etc.) so that they are ready to go.  If almost everything in the kitchen is relatively healthy, snacking becomes less of an issue.  Be warned, however, advertisers are out to trick you into buying unhealthy kids' snacks, so read your food labels!

I also find planning meals in advance (anywhere from a week to a month out) prevents me from defaulting to the fast food drive-thru.  Need ideas?  Monthlymealplanner.com and Woman’s Day magazine do the work for you with their monthly menus.

Set guidelines

I have started establishing set snack times. My daughter still has snack time after school, but I cut her off around 3:30 pm so that she will have room for dinner.  She makes pretty healthy eating choices, so I do not worry too much about her.

My son, on the other hand, will starve himself at lunch so he can gorge himself on treats (probably because he had four breakfasts).  For both kids, but especially him, they must finish any uneaten lunch before moving on to snacks.  This is to reduce waste as much as it is to ensure they are not continuously snacking.

“Experts” insist that parents should not use dessert as a bargaining chip, but I confess sometimes it is the only effective tool I have for getting my children to focus on the dinner plate before them.  I know that if my son turns down dessert, he really is finished eating.  They can choose not to finish dinner, but if they complain of hunger at bedtime an hour or so later, they will not receive more food.  I also try to communicate that dessert is not a God-given right, but a “sometime-treat”, as one of my friends calls it. 

Kaiser Permanente has a helpful site with guidelines to healthy eating for children. Another indispensable resource, especially for babies, is Super Baby Food, by Ruth Yaron.

Don’t “short-order cook”, “stealth cook”

There was a time when I essentially made three meals: one for my husband and me, another for my toddler daughter and the last for my infant son.  Now that the kids are older, there is no more reason for that lunacy. 

By now, you are probably already familiar with the popular cookbooks, The Sneaky Chef and Deceptively Delicious. They propose doing what cunning parents have been doing for eons:  skip the silly games and head straight for outright deception. Why go to the trouble of making your child’s plate look like a giant happy face when you can just puree vegetables and mix it into spaghetti sauce?  Even better, save time and money and buy canned organic vegetable purees at Trader Joe’s!  By the way, did you know that you could hide 2 cups of zucchini in chocolate cake and not even taste it?  Here’s the recipe.

Eat together

Studies show that sitting down to meals together as a family has more than just health benefits.  I am starting this habit now in the hopes that it will continue throughout adolescence.

As always, the tricky part to teaching your kids healthy eating habits is finding a balance.  Most likely, your personality will dictate which way you should lean.  If you tend to be more structured, you may need to relax a bit.  If you tend to be more lax, it will take more effort to set some healthy boundaries.  Either way, know that by teaching your children to eat nutritiously, you are helping your children to get ahead.