Quit Asking Me To Rate a Funeral

I know that there is a great deal of competition in the business world. Every business wants an edge so they can bury the other guys and continue to operate in the black. But these days their success or failure apparently rests heavily on what I think of their operations. They don’t just ask for feedback now. They demand it and crave it. I do understand that. Businesses want to be in touch with their customers and cater to their needs. So why then does 90% of my feedback never have any effect on their product or service?

No sooner do you buy something or receive a service than you are told, texted or e-mailed to be notified that you need to take a survey. With some businesses, there is an incentive: a chance to win something, a free taco, a French fry. Whatever. But they are adamant that you really should do this survey. And in some cases you are told directly that it needs to be extremely positive or the person responsible will be in a major time out of some kind. Yeah. No pressure.

I’m tired of these surveys and feedback ploys. Mostly because, the ones I have done have never made a difference from what I could tell. Bad service and product continued in spite of some of my detailed suggestions as to how they could easily please the customer more. So much for my “valuable” opinion.

Of course, I must admit that some of my suggestions have been a little unconventional and controversial. I suggested that clerks at an extremely popular discount chain actually know something about the inventory and where it might be located. I offered a name-brand supermarket the suggestion that when there are over ten people in one line and one can count six employees wandering around,  that one of those wandering employees MIGHT open up a new line for customer convenience. Yes. I am a trouble-maker. And apparently my suggestions were deemed weak because nothing has changed at those two places. Hence, my problem with surveys and feedback.

Here’s a thought to all those businesses that hire the firms out there who organize surveys and compute the results. Dump the marketing surveys and use some common sense. Look around your business. If there are too many people not being served, find help for them. If an employee is spending more time on the phone with a potential customer than the one that’s right in front of them, set up a separate phone line for calls. If a product has been damaged in the box and if your policy is “refunds given, no questions asked”, then don’t ask stupid questions when the product is returned. It’s a pretty easy concept: common sense. I wish more businesses embraced it but I fear they’ll want me to do a survey on it to show them how to make it work. (Oh, and by the way, yes, the funeral home that handled the arrangements of my Mother’s funeral sent a survey to ask how they did!)