5/20/2026 Laguna Beach Community Town STALL Meeting

How Not To Hold A Placating Zoom Meeting

Slick persuasive PR flyers, a host we pay around .6 million $$$ (including bennies)/year, not to mention the home we're subsidizing. What could go wrong? Turned out a lot.

I guess Big Brother Grim's task was to paint a rosier-than-reality picture, deal with the teeming hordes, then shut it down?

His Baby Brother Grim and Assistant CM, Gavin Curran (CFO), who if he was supposed to play Vanna White on this week's version of Wheel of Fortune: Laguna Beach, seemed unable to even turn over one lousy stinking vowel. We did feel spun though as our CM circumvented and navigated AROUND critical topics and issues.

I guess the reason the entrance to Hell advises newbies to Surrender All Hope is because it must be a public hearing venue, probably in Laguna? I've been retired only 9 months, as a consultant a veteran and victim of them myself but thankfully got paid for many.

Apparently my own town can't or won't break from that noble tradition, obviously stalling, holding off the inevitable announcement, admission of fiscal entropy? Butterflies, zebras, moonbeams, fables and faery tales in abundance.

Absolutely THE worst, least accessible and most indifferent Town Hall I've attended in 30 years of municipal engagement in SOC. Ever. Anywhere.

I'm hypothesizing an alternate universe, one the public has no access to where burning topics get hashed out by our LBCC Lords and Masters, probably ex parte?

Working these past 15 years mostly at my home office desk, for a SOC water district or its JPA, an HOA or NGO, occasional wild card individual client, whatevs, I've recently dropped back into WTF you might call Planet Laguna, the haps, what's going on at City Hall.

First, attendees at this pitiful excuse found out that it was being held contemporaneously with the Planning Commission hearings. Since the "commerce first, residents a distant second" LBCC took over in 2022, their anointed commissioners have been ordered to be business friendly.

As I've previously noted, the Chamber of Commerce and Visit LB cabal are the hands manipulating the meat puppets we call Council members. So we, the public MUST pay closer attention, PC often being where the rubber first hits the road re impactful development via amended Conditional Use Permits (CUPs).

If an adorbs crematorium for tourists who go to the swankiest places here and died were proposed, I'm sure it'd get the green light by the PC, more likely if it had valet parking that used our residential neighborhoods and served alcohol until 12, live music, had an outdoor patio on PCH or Downtown. Parking requirements rubber-stamped/waived, #s necessary grandfathered, CUP credited of course.

No amount of damage control can convince residents that the PC deck isn't stacked against residents. It's populated by what are all brown-nosers, all the time, otherwise they wouldn't have been appointed then re-appointed. It's like a lifetime seat as long as you tow-the-party line. And a step to CC for some (it's where Kempf and Whalen came from).

GC was so non-existent, ghostly as he has been since starting work here, we never got to the W-O-F "bonus round." There wasn't even a first round. As they say in Texas, "all hat and no cattle." No substance. A hollow man, please move on folks, nothing to see here, perfect ingredient for the City's nothingburger.

I guess this was the 2nd TH in a series, other one held in April? If it was as dull, are those attendees still snoring? This had that just go through the motions, "check the box" feel.

Do these people NOT know by now that residents don't feel listened to? Are upset? That dozens of questions are directed constantly, many at LBCC meetings, but none answered?

We could only TEXT questions, no audio input, couldn't ask our own. No real time exchanges. First triaged by GC so that many were never delivered, then edited by Big Brother Grim, before he did whatever that was---fully respond he did not.

Our calm, concerned and compassionate Big Brother, whatever the role he's playing, ffffffing flopped. Another one of this LBCC's stellar hires. OK, if not LBCC, then wasn't this a place where a redress of grievances was appropriate?

What we needed to hear was "The Lorax," he who speaks for the trees. Remember, this is what's going on: Business magnates valued over the native ecologies. Commerce over our traditions and historical sites. Urban environs over Old Green Laguna heritage. No accountability by government, is there? Sorry, residents, we can't/don't/won't hear you.

CM: "Want hand-wringing, gnashing of expensive dental hygiene and artificially whitened teeth, tears over the trees? I'm the Pizza Man, I deliver."

CM: "I feel your pain over the Canyon Road, undergrounding and fire dangers? I got you."

CM: "My opinion about our next steps regarding Sea Level Rise Adaptation Plans? Vanna? WTF, OMG, how'd Roger's question sneak in there Baby Brother? I don't know a lot about that so I'm not going to answer or discuss it, next question."

In fact as I monitored questions online, it became obvious that mine kept getting pushed back further and further in the queue, so just to piss them off while waiting I texted more.

It was 20 minutes from when I typed in my 1st Q before it was semi-read into the minutes, and then not fully answered. The whole thing was so disjointed and haphazard, I believe the frustration level for most was at about 8-9.

I wasn't prepared for a dead microphone and no way to lower his ability to redirect or obfuscate either. Or CYA, which he did a lot of. Cover his ass or the LBCCs. 90% of my questions went unanswered or even acknowledged due to his editing.

What I got was my city's propagandistic wet dream outlet. The public ZERO control, the obssessive compulsive upper echelon staff total.

Town Halls are supposed to be a lot of things, but constituent participation, free exchange of opinions and ideas, free flowing Q & A? They are mainstays and markers of American Town Halls. This had none of them.

Transparency, open governance? No. Granted there are no FORMAL rules, but the atmosphere is supposed to be INFORMAL so that participants feel comfortable sharing, a quasi-public square-and-share dialectics, America at our finest. This openly suppressed those goals.

The CM felt like our brother alright: Big Brother. Exactly one of the main issues for many of us. Our phony disinterested and removed parent Council, who act as if our lords in a feudal state, MIA. I don't think even one of them attended.

Which was another thing. Hidden, we had no idea who attended, many chose to use "anonymous" as their sign in for texting. So why did so many use it? Is there a fear of backlash, consequences or repercussions, and is that a legitimate fear? So now it's "fear and loathing in LB" as a theme here?

The Brown Act says that we deserve information so that we can control this instrument we created. That's been challenged and this city fails that litmus test often. Hiding the list of attendees let alone those inquiring didn't FEEL neighborly, open or transparent.

No amount of petitioning or pleading gets the LBCC's full attention, they probably had other plans, maybe for a soiree hosted by the CoC and/or VLB nobility? Designer drinks at the bar, bring your spouses or whatevers. Just bring our bags filled with City $$$, here's your take home doggie bag with some donated swag covering dark money contributions at the bottom.

Meanwhile, perennially obsequious and patronizing Big Brother holds our collective virtual hands online at a clunky Town Stall, we the sheeple dine on unanswered questions and dead air space, then walk away unfulfilled.

Q.: "Big Brother Grim? Has Vanna woken up yet and is this what supersizing a nothingburger means at Chez David?"