STOP! Are You Putting Lipstick on a Fixer? Hillary’s Seaside Saga Continues

Prologue:

By now you’ve heard. I’ve got one heck of a fantastic guy. His name is M, and Mr. Fantastic M wants to sell his ocean community home. Price -- $350,000. True, it’s not a Laguna Beach home. But pay attention – the following tale of frustration still applies to anyone shopping for Laguna Beach real estate.

It Was the Best of Homes ... It Was the Worst of Homes

The dwelling in question is the pride and joy of my dearest darling M, snapped up when he still was a flowering bud in his 30s. It’s also repairman paradise. Among the home’s more inviting features are a kitchen faucet caked with rust thicker than the Earth’s core; blue-stained Formica peeling off the countertop in a prehistoric kitchen; and an ancient linoleum floor screaming with stenciled, '70s-style flowers lovingly crafted by a former honeybunch.

My dearest darling’s ready solution amounted to painting over the flowered stencils and sanding the hardwood floors rotting beneath a 40-year-old blue-stained carpet. In other words, covering blemishes with lipstick.

The Wise Realtor Reveals the Truth

Gently, I took my dearest darling aside, and cooed, “I know this is your first home, and it’s loaded with sentimental attachments. Now, would you describe it as a fixer?”

Curtly, he nodded yes.

“Then you definitely don’t want to put lipstick on a fixer,” I advised, lacing every word with sugar. He hit me with a blank stare. With customary poise, I explained that the lipstick approach actually will cost him a small fortune. Why? Because sooner or later, the home inspector will waltz in and get an eyeful of the many other little hidden household needs – new plumbing, electrical, and roof.  Plus termite annihilation and dry rot replacement thrown in for good measure.

When prospective buyers learn of these unrevealed bonuses, they will do one of two things:

Ask for a price reduction in an amount equal to the cost of repairs. My best estimates in this case put this figure at about $20,000. Which means, the selling price of M’s home automatically plummets from $350,000 to $320,000.

OR

More likely, the buyers will bounce away because they’ll feel deceived by what they consider your dastardly cover-up of extensive repairs.

And let’s not forget the $4,000 you plunked down for the high-gloss lipstick. Major waste. Far better to invest said cash in the Tiffany’s necklace I’ve been drooling over.

The Closer Caresses

With a gentle hand and tons of love, I sat poor, misguided M on his sofa dating from his college days and advised, “Dearest darling, it’s far more advantageous to market your fixer as a fixer – as is/as is, with zero repairs. Then price it below market, say around $319,000. You’ll spark multiple offers from buyers ready to take on a special project they’ll transform into a home of their vision. To put icing on your cake, you’ll likely sell your Camelot for around $325,000 – probably in about a week. You might even pull in a juicy cash offer. And you’ll be able to ‘send your money down south,’ as my daddy always says.”

Hillary’s Side Note: Clients who follow this wise realtor’s marketing plan never fail to sell their homes in 30 days or less, for the highest possible price -- whether a fixer or a trophy home.

My Dearest M's response was ... wait, looks like this Laguna Beach realtor is running out of room. Sorry, you'll have to wait until next week's article to find out what he said. But I promise, it's a real gem, surpassed only by my own response that could be heard 'round the world. So stay connected.  

In the meantime, I'd love to hear what you think of my experience thus far. So be sure to send your thoughts my way. Or give me a call (949) 922-8490.

The Coastal Property Experts

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