Codependency

Have you heard the joke, "A codependent is a person who, when they die, someone else's life flashes before their eyes?"

That joke is really a sign of the times and indicative of just how widespread codependency is.

So exactly what is acodependent? Melody Beattie, a leading expert and author on the subject of codependency, offers up this definition:

"A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. Codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feeling, and behaving toward ourselves and others that causes us pain."

Causes of Codepependence

The roots of codependency can often be found in one's family of origin. If a family is dysfunctional, a child may grow up to be codependent. Physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual abuse can all lead to the abused person becoming codependent.

Five Core Symptoms of Codependence

1. Difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem.
2. Difficulty setting functional boundaries.
3. Difficulty owning personal reality: body, thoughts, feelings, behavior.
4. Difficulty acknowledging and meeting own needs, wants, and being interdependent.
5. Difficulty experiencing and moderately expressing reality.

Moving Toward Recovery and Away from Codependence

There is hope for the codependent! By learning to detach from the person who is the focus of codependence one can begin to be set free and start living their own life. It is important for the person struggling with codependence to learn to love themselves, find their purpose in life and learn the art of acceptance.

If you or someone you know struggles with any of the above five core sypmtoms take the following steps to begin the healing process.

1. Attend a CoDa (Codependents Anonymous) support group      http://www.coda.org/.

2. See a counselor or therapist to work on pain from your past.

3. Work with a recovery coach who can help you get unstuck and have a healthy    breakthrough.

I would love to hear from you on this important topic. Contact me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Websites: www.randymoraitis.com and www.thecrossing.com.