Communal Grief: The Impact of Whitney Houston's Death

On Sunday, my friend and I stopped by our favorite yogurt place for an after dinner treat. To our surprise the big screen TV inside the shop was playing scenes from Whitney Houston’s funeral from earlier in the day.

Initially my first instinct was to tune it out. A funeral was not what I had expected to be watching at that point but there it was right in front of us -- ready or not.

Whitney Houston, singer, model and actress died in her hotel at the Beverly Hilton on Frida,y Feb. 11. As with many famous people, who touched the masses, her loss created an out pouring of emotions from around the world.

I noticed that some customers, mostly women, were intrigued and drawn to the deeply moving ceremony. Others simply wanted to get out of there. They came in for dessert, not to be bombarded by someone else’s grief. One woman stopped her husband from leaving, clearly he was uncomfortable, but he stayed. You could tell he wanted dearly to leave.

Soon, I too, was drawn in to the ceremony. Kevin Costner’s speech was touching. I wondered about their experience together in The Body Guard.

I reflected on how Houston’s music had impacted me in my life. Her beautiful voice was beyond iconic. She could touch ranges that few others could. How many singers can stand alone and transfix an audience with their voices without any musical accompaniment like Whitney?

Music ties into our lives and binds us to the memories of what was going on for us when we first heard a particular song or piece. When we hear or think of a melody we reminisce and are instantly taken back to what we were doing at different points and places in our lives. We are immediately immersed in the feelings of the time.

Yes, that Whitney Houston could sing a love song. Her crystal clear voice gave life to the pathos of love, whether pleasant or dreadful. It made us, laugh, it made us cry and mercy it made us dance. I had to chuckle at the recent viral video of the 90-year old woman dancing to Whitney’s music.

I must come back to the grief however, because when people as a large group mourn, it has a type of communal effect. It’s like a rainstorm. We are all caught in it and having to deal with it. The loss of celebrities and other famous people can affect others just like the loss of someone in their families. Their impact in our lives creates a resonance or bond.

These people feel familiar to us, like a part of our house holds. Michael Jackson, Steve Jobs and many others have impacted people strongly after their passing. The empty place they leave causes some people to think of other types of loss, pain and sadness. Some times it can push hard on people with depression or suicidal thoughts.

Funerals and weddings can create chaos and conflicting emotions on individuals in groups. Counselors at schools know to be on hand to connect with students when a young person is lost suddenly.

For the most part, the grief that is brought up allows for transformation and healing. The emotions that come about can bring about breakthroughs and a type of catharsis that can be freeing. On the other hand it can open wounds that require help from a doctor, counselor or bereavement group to help heal unresolved losses or other issues. If that is the case please don’t be afraid to ask for or seek out help.

Death is a transition which we all must deal with on some level. Each person has their own way of grieving. Let’s allow the power of our mass celebration of the person’s life to bring about peace and healing for all of us.