A TALE OF TWO CITIES BOTH CALLED WILDOMAR

9-1-1- how may I direct your call. 

Resident: Yes my house is on fire, I live south of McVicar and Palomar on the west side of the road. 

Dispatcher: I’m sorry sir but all units are on a call north of your location and we will get there as soon as possible. 

Resident: But I pay a Mello Roos Fee for extra fire service. 

Dispatcher: I’m sorry sir but Wildomar only has one station available because they collected a reduced Developer Impact Fee and cannot afford to build another stations to house any additional equipment and what you paid extra for was the firemen not the station or the equipment.

Hello City of Wildomar, how may I not help you. 

Resident: Yes I was playing in a park near my home and my children and I were told we had to leave because the park we were in is a private park. My children know the kids in this neighborhood because they play baseball with them at Marna O’Brien Park. How come they can use the city parks but we are not allowed to use their parks which are in the city.

Dear City: I’m sorry ma’am but this is the way the City Council set it up when they could not collect any Quimby Fees because they refused to pay for a Master Plan Element for Parks, Recreation and Trails. All new parks are private parks but because they pay the $28 fee they can play in the existing 14 acres of parks, someday when we educate the public into passing a Mello Roos park tax we might be able to finish out another 27 acres of park where we hope to operate a Zorbing attraction due to the steep terrain, until then make do with what you have.

Hello City of Wildomar, how may I not help you.

Resident: Yes I wanted to go hiking in an area the city list as Open Space for Recreation but there is this awful stench like someone is spraying sewage, when I checked out another spot to hike a sign says future home of community college.

Dear City: I’m sorry sir, the city has never done an inventory and updated its maps because we have never had the money to do so, having a brand new city hall so we look good was more important because we couldn’t have the local animal shelter outshine our seat of government. And also sir don’t try to use the trails in any of the new developments because they are all private property and connect to nothing.

Hello City of Wildomar, how may I not help you.

Resident: Yes its raining outside and the streets are curb deep in water my house is about to be flooded why is this happening.

Dear City: I’m sorry sir but engineering studies show that no development build in the city in the last 50 years has caused a significant impact on water flow so it must be your imagination. Go back to bed and dream happy thoughts.

Resident: But how can that be in 1980 there were only 2,000 residents and now there are over 33,000 residents.

Dear City: I’m sorry sir but neither the city nor the county ever collected enough Impact Fees to pay for any improvements to the flood control system. Maybe you should have moved into one of the newer homes that is built up above the 100 year flood plain either that or maybe you should have moved somewhere where they give a damn.

Hello this is the City of Wildomar non response line. If you have a question concerning services in the city please go to a public hearing where we will listen to your three minute speech and then proceed to ignore you. We do not engage in discussion as these are only dog and pony shows.