Mom Of Homicide Victim Blazes Forward For Son's Legacy

LAKE FOREST, CA — Out of unspeakable tragedy comes a bearable sort of beauty, according to Jeanne Pepper, the mother of homicide victim Blaze Bernstein. She keeps her eyes trained on that beauty for her son, a poet, chef and college student who was stabbed to death in the winter of 2018.

As Blaze's name suggests, he was a bright light among his family, his friends and in his community. He was also gone much too quickly.

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It was January 3, 2018 when Blaze Bernstein was first reported missing. Ten days later, parents Jeanne Pepper and Gideon Bernstein learned their son was brutally slain, his body discovered in a shallow grave at a nearby park. Newport Beach resident Sam Woodward, was arrested soon after. The Orange County District Attorney's Office charged him with murder, adding a special circumstances to the charges: that Blaze was killed because he was gay. Woodward pleaded not guilty and awaits his next court appearance in the middle of August.

Before Blaze's death, Pepper was a stay-at-home Orange County mom, happily raising her children. A lawyer in her own right, her legal background and skills in research were useful for a family used to standing up for important causes, such as their Jewish heritage. The Bernstein family has always been focused on community service, she tells Patch.

After Blaze was killed, she learned the bitter truth of online dangers that confronted her son. She decided to use her platform to help teach others what she has learned and, what's more, to spread kindness everywhere she can in his memory.

In the LGBTQ community, people don't meet in typical ways, she explains. Often, people meet in anonymous apps, and many out there have bad intentions. It can be dangerous, and parents need to know and understand those dangers in order to properly support their children, she said.

"There are broken people out there that are damaging others," she says. "I don't accept that."

Pepper's initial shock and heartbreak were laid open to the media in the days and weeks following her son's death. She found her voice at Blaze's memorial service and has actively shared what she has learned, both legally and causatively.

She has since spoken with the media, taken part in a "48 Hours" episode: "In the Name of Hate," and a "Frontline" series delving into crimes of hate. Recently, Pepper was honored by the OC Register as a 2020 Woman of Coast. She will also write a regular column on Patch.

Speaking up about her son, and what was important to him, encourages her to keep going.

Pepper says that she has stopped reacting to what has happened to their family and is being proactive, shining the light of good into the darkest of places. Following her son's death, amid her healing process, Pepper has examined how to protect young people from becoming victims of violent crime.

"As the mother of a gay child, one of the biggest fears is that your child will be discriminated against," Pepper said on the Blaze It Forward Facebook page. "I did not want him to face violence, but I was unable to prevent that."

There are groups working in the shadows, targeting the socially fragile, according to reports from "Frontline." They use the internet to encourage hate crimes against gay people.

There is a prevalence of hate groups in affluent, beautiful places such as Orange County, Pepper says.

"It is important the public becomes aware of the danger and that it becomes real because of the internet. There is so much parents can learn, especially now," Pepper says, adding, "as far as I know, people are still very unaware of those dangers."

Much of their understanding about Blaze's life as a gay man came after his death.

"Blaze wasn't openly gay at home," she tells Patch. "We didn't want to effectively out him without his permission."

Pepper and her husband, Gideon, have built a platform in honor of their son's memory: to do good for Blaze.

Their active social media page frequently looks to the good in the world, citing examples of people helping others.

During a global pandemic, and amid social unrest from the Black Lives Matter movement, now is the time to look at both sides of the problems at hand without judgment and to really listen, according to Pepper.

"To what extent do outbursts and outrage repair problems?" she asks as a rhetorical question. "If we look at these things — such as the death of George Floyd in Minnesota, and looting and violence that came after — and don't rush? We can have much better outcomes."

"What kind of a world do you want to live in? It is up to us to create that world," she says. "Be kind to each other. Do small acts of kindness, and keep Blaze's legacy going."

Related: A Life Too Short: Blaze Bernstein Obituary

For more information on Blaze Bernstein Foundation: blazebernstein.org