100 Kids Talking in the Grossmont High School Gym = Catalyst For Change

Everybody knows that high school is different depending on where you stand in the school “hierarchy.” Athletes, cheerleader, or otherwise “popular” kids have one experience, and nerds, band geeks and artsy types have another—the type that teen angsts movies are based upon. But what if we could show kids another way?

Challenge Day was designed to help change the status quo at schools. The program is meant to assist kids in breaking down barriers and allow them to connect to each other beyond their “images,” creating an environment of safety, trust and full expression.

I had the opportunity to experience the program last year in North County, and made it my mission to bring it to an East County school.

Grossmont High School will have its Challenge Day on February 16, and adult volunteers are needed. If you are interested in participating as an adult volunteer, please email Brianne @ brjones@guhsd.net.  Include Challenge Day in the subject line.   

Below is the story of my experience as a volunteer.

I felt nervous walking onto the pristine campus early that morning. I’d been out of high school for 20 years, and my school wasn’t anything like this one.  This school, located in an affluent San Diego neighborhood, had it all. Beautiful two-story buildings where classes were held, a modern, covered parking lot for the teachers and a huge gym that was also home to the school’s dance studio. This is where the events of the day would happen. Challenge Day. 

The dance studio, about the size of a three-car garage, had full- length mirrors on all of the walls. Ironic, since the exercises of the day were designed to reflect back to participants, not the image they show the world, but the person they hide from most of the world.

So what was I doing there? The program requires that an adult be present for every five kids. This way every child involved can get the support they need throughout the day. I was there not only as a volunteer, but a full participant.

I had seen the show on MTV, “If You Really Knew Me…,” which chronicled Challenge Day at several schools around the country. The program seemed great on TV. I cried while watching and listening to the kids speak to each other about the adversities they were facing.  But you never really know what happens in production, so I didn’t think I knew the whole story.

I was right. I didn’t know the whole story, but not in the way I thought. What had been portrayed on the show was just a small taste of what occurred during the day-long program.

After some light-hearted fun to break the ice, the program leaders start to share their stories about growing up. What they went through and how it affected them. Then kids were invited to share about what they could relate to.

Nothing was left unsaid. There were stories from how a parent’s job loss was affecting them and their family, to talk of drug use and suicide. Everyone had a story, each a bit different. But no matter the age race or economic status of the individual, the common thread among all of the kids in the room was feeling isolated. Fearful of others finding out their “secrets,” even their best friends.

We interacted both as a whole community and in small groups. We told each other about the things we hid from the world and learned that, almost always, someone else in the room had a similar experience. Kids who never knew the other existed on their campus began communicating on a deeply intimate level. Barriers were broken, friendships were made.

At times during the day, I had to remind myself that I was the “grown up,” there to be the rock for the weary. When people let down their guard and show their authenticity, it’s a truly inspiring experience. I felt humbled to be in the presence of such soulful young people.

It was a powerful and emotionally exhausting experience. I saw physical changes take place in a matter of hours. Girls who walked in hiding themselves, hunched over with hair covering their faces left standing tall and smiling with confidence. Boys who entered as “tough guys,” walked away with softened eyes and welcoming smiles.  It was an amazing transformative experience.

I will never forget the day I spent listening to kids open their hearts and allow themselves to become vulnerable in the presence of mere acquaintances and random strangers. It took courage and I admire each who participated.

I’m not foolish enough to think that the worries they came in with that day vanished, or that some things won’t remain just as they were. But I am certain that most of those kids left as different people.

They learned something incredibly powerful about compassion, forgiveness and love. The way they see the world was forever altered and I was lucky enough to be a part of this shift.

Upon leaving, I immediately began speculating about what would be possible if every kid at every school had the opportunity to participate in a program like this. It would literally change the world.

And so, I committed to bringing about this change, right here in La Mesa. If you are interested in becoming an adult volunteer at Challenge Day on Feb. 16, please email Brianne @ brjones@guhsd.net.  Include Challenge Day in the subject line.