International Overdose Awareness Day: My Daughter Was Not a Throw-Away!

Overdose Awareness Day (OAD) is August 31, 2011!  This is the one day set aside around the world to allow families, like mine, to mourn without the guilt and shame that can accompany accidental overdoses.  

On this day many individuals, including family members and friends will mourn, for the first time.  It’s an opportunity to mourn without the stigma that is attached to those who have accidentally overdosed or those whose lives have been permanently damaged due to alcohol, pills, heroin or other substances.  Hopefully, compassion will be felt by the families and friends who also bare this stigma as well. 

Overdose Awareness Day was founded by Sally Finn.  She wanted this day to alter that stigma.  She has been quoted has saying, “Because, after all, the measure of a person's life is not the way in which it ended.”

Recently, one afternoon, I sat speaking with a few mothers about our children. When the subject turned to my daughter Candice’s passing and her accidental overdose I suddenly became very aware of the stigma placed on the very nature of my own child’s death.

They asked me the same question I had asked myself a thousand times: “Why didn’t I make her stop or control her behavior better?” “Didn’t she know better?” 

The fact that I was her parent and had tried my best didn’t matter! This person was placing blame onto me, passing judgment on my family and my daughter’s character. Although, these women tried to be gentle, the tone of their voices and the look in their eyes was quite apparent. I was suddenly aware, once again, of the guilt I had just worked so very hard to stop putting on myself.  That somehow I should have done a better job as her parent.  Society was still labeling her as a “junkie”.

The stigma, placed by others, comes from people’s lives that have not been touched by this type of fatal, tragic death.   The truth is that addiction is a proven scientific disease and is everywhere.

This disease of addiction can touch any family, no matter your class, race or status in any community.  I can also assure you this, that no family or individual is immune to drugs.

No matter how isolated you may think you have kept your children. Heroin, prescription drug and a list of other street drugs are causing overdoses on a daily basis. This has become a public crisis. Studies have shown they are becoming the second leading cause of death only to motor vehicle crashes in the United States.  

The Purple ribbons are a symbol of acknowledgement that we are putting our views and differences aside and are showing compassion for those lives that have been touched by such a tragic event.  They symbolize and reflect the honor we have for our loved ones and friends.  

We wear these ribbons to continue to cherish and honor their short lives.  They are also a visual reminder that everyone’s life has value: that drug users should be careful out there, accidental overdoses can happen to anyone. They have happened to our loved ones!

Hopefully, the ribbons spark conversations about a subject that has been kept in silence. Many agencies will speak out openly about sensible solutions, overdose prevention and changes in drug policies. People will openly gather at events to march and hold vigils for loved ones. Several agencies will be handing out drug overdose prevention information for free.  The Salvation Army is among one of many that will be posting some events around the world.

 If you would like more if formation about these events or OAD you can go to this link: http://www.salvationarmy.org.au/crisisservices click on Overdose awareness Day.

I have chosen to participate in OAD this year by speaking, on behalf of G.R.A.S.P. (Grief Recovery After a Substance Abuse Passing).  There is a local vigil being held in downtown San Diego hosted by A New PATH (Parents for Addiction Treatment & Healing) www.anewpathsite.org on August 31, 2011 at 7:00 p.m.  at  St. Paul’s Cathedral Courtyard , 2728 6^th Ave., San Diego, CA 92103.

Everyone is welcome to join us in this event!

August 31, 2011, I will stand with individuals who are trying to stop the stigma of this society in thinking my child was just a “junkie”.  She was a loving sister, kind hearted daughter, protected those weaker than herself, an All Star softball player. She had dreams of becoming a nurse. Candice was someone who deserves acknowledged for her spirit. Not judged by her death.  I will wear my purple ribbon to honor and acknowledge Candice’s beautiful spirit and the memories of those lives lost and those that have been touched by these tragic events.  I have no shame or guilt of being Candice’s mother.  My daughter was a wonderful person; she was not a “throw away”.

 I’d like to invite anyone to wear a purple ribbon that wants to show condolences, understanding or acknowledge their own grief.