The Trial of the Invisible Hand: Part II (first witnesses)

The Trial of the Invisible Hand
(Part II – The Testimony of the First Witnesses)

CAST OF CHARACTERS

THE JUDGE
THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY
THE PROSECUTION ATTORNEY
THE INVISIBLE HAND
BAILIFF
WITNESSES: SLUM DWELLERS [1,027,948,391 TOTAL]

[SETTING: A typical modern day courtroom. Wooden furniture, ceiling fans blowing at full speed to ameliorate the sweltering August heat.]

JUDGE: The Prosecution will now call its first witness.

[The INVISIBLE HAND’s Armani suit wrinkles slightly as it leans sideways to stare, expectantly, in the direction of the prosecution table. The DEFENSE ATTORNEY leans leftward as well, fanning his red face with a wicker had fan.]

PROSECUTION ATTORNEY: Your Honor, as we have expressed in our brief to the Court, we accuse the Invisible Hand of the Free Market of failing to fulfill his promise to provide prosperity, development and well-being to the people of the world. As our first group of witnesses, we would like to…

[The INVISIBLE HAND suddenly emits a loud gurgling noise. Several people seated in the courtroom jump in surprise. A sticky, black substance slowly oozes from beneath the HAND, spreading across its chair and dripping onto the oak floor.]

JUDGE: Bailiff, if you would, please.

BAILIFF: Certainly, Your Honor.

[The BAILIFF walks up to the defense table and bends over, dutifully using his own tie to wipe the black ooze from beneath the INVISIBLE HAND.]

JUDGE: Thank you, Bailiff. Counsel, you may continue.

PROSECUTION ATTORNEY: Your Honor, as I was about to say: the Prosecution would like to call the world’s 1,027,948,391 residents of slums and shantytowns to the witness stand.

[The bailiff opens the doors to the courtroom and one billion, twenty-seven million, nine hundred forty-eight thousand, three hundred and ninety-one people march into the room in single file. The WITNESSES—whose diverse physical features suggest a variety of national backgrounds from across the globe—crowd into the witness box.]

JUDGE: To the 1,027,948,391 witnesses who have just taken the stand: Do the one billion-plus of you all swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

WITNESSES: [In chorus, responding in hundreds of different languages:] We do.

JUDGE: Proceed, counsel.

PROSECUTION ATTORNEY: Ladies, gentlemen and children, would you please tell us if you feel the Invisible Hand of the Free Market has provided you with opportunities and prosperity?

WITNESS #1: My entire family lives in one of the garbage dumps in Manila, Philippines. We’ve lived there our entire lives. My parents were born there. We have no way of getting out of there. The best we can hope for is to pick enough metal out of the trash to trade for a few coins. It’s never enough to feed our children. Most of the time they are hungry, and we have to supplement their food with things we find in the trash. We’ve tried to find a job somewhere outside of the dump, and we never have been able to...

WITNESS #2: My story’s similar. I’m from Tijuana, Mexico. I live in one of the city’s municipal dumps with my parents. How are we supposed to “get ahead” by pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps? We work like dogs from sunrise to sunset, and it’s barely enough for us to survive. And nothing changes.

WITNESS #3: My grandparents moved from the countryside to one of the barricadas of Lima, Peru. We’ve all lived in a shantytown ever since. A few of us have found piecework in Lima proper, just barely enough to pay for the bus ride into town and buy a few eggs to feed our kids. My children were born in the shantytown where we live, and I can’t even afford to send them to school.

[Witnesses continue to describe the INVISIBLE HAND’s failure to provide the opportunities and prosperity he promised, taking turns giving testimony.]

WITNESS #41,093,281: My wife Nokuthula and I live in a dirt-floored shack on the outskirts of Cape Town, South Africa. Our family’s been there for generations. Centuries ago, the Invisible Hand promised our ancestors that he would bring them civilization, progress, development, and prosperity with the Dutch government. But we have known only suffering. Then the Hand promised us the prosperity would come after the Dutch government was taken away. But still, we know only suffering.

[Testimony of the billion-plus WITNESSES continues.]

WITNESS #391,651,008: We’ve always lived in the City of the Dead in Cairo, Egypt. Why, I think our family may have lived there during the days of the Egyptian Empire, back when it was a freshly dug graveyard. The Invisible Hand keeps promising that he’ll give us the opportunity to get out of the slums. But we work and work, and barely survive. And many of us die—of disease, of starvation…

[Testimonies of WITNESSES continue.]

WITNESS #832,401,395: My story’s quite similar to the 92,850,203 Indian men and women who spoke before me. I live in one of the slums in India; my home’s outside of New Delhi. My family has been poor for at least 800 years. We have always lived on the margins of society—in the slums, in shantytowns, on the outskirts of the cities. We have worked hard for 800 years. We have tried our damndest for 800 years. And still, we suffer in poverty. The Invisible Hand has been promising us that if we work hard, we’ll succeed. How much longer must we wait for his promises to be manifested?

[A grumbling noise comes from deep within the heel of the INVISIBLE HAND, the finger-sleeves of its pressed suit shuddering slightly. The DEFENSE ATTORNEY leans in close and listens to the growling. He turns toward WITNESS #832,401,395.]

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: My client says that you need to be patient, and wait longer.

WITNESS #832,401,395: But we’ve been waiting for 800 years! How much longer must we wait for Mr. Hand to make good on his promise?

JUDGE: Order! Order in this court! [Pounds gavel.]

PROSECUTION ATTORNEY: [Calmly] The next witness may speak, please.

WITNESS #832,401,396: I am like these other men and women from the slums of my country. My family lives in a shantytown outside of Mumbai. We have been poor for centuries. We work and work, and we are still poor. We die young. Half our children don’t make it to their first birthday. My baby daughter Padma here, she has dysentery right now, she hasn’t been able to eat…

[The DEFENSE ATTORNEY suddenly stands up from his seat. The wooden chair gives a loud creak of protest.]

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: This is preposterous, Your Honor! How much longer must we hear these sob stories? These outrageous accusations against my client…why… [pats face with handkerchief] it’s utter hogwash! I move that the testimony of the one billion slum dwellers be stricken from the record!

JUDGE: [Responds immediately, nonplussed.] Motion granted. The testimony of the one billion-plus slum dwellers shall be stricken from the record. The testimonies presented will not be admitted as evidence in this case. The witnesses will now please leave the courtroom.

TO BE CONTINUED…