What Reality TV Does to Girls: Natural to be Catty? Value Based on Looks?

We all know that media has an effect on our kids. Video games desensitize them to violence, song lyrics might use words some kids don’t typically hear, and advertising, more often than not, portrays false images of beauty that don’t even exist.  

And then there’s TV. Specifically, “reality” shows that chronicle the lives of people who used to be anonymous: club hopping twenty-somethings, suburban moms and fashion divas that are famous for being famous.

Well, as it turns out, all this “reality” is having an effect on today’s girls. A recent study, conducted on behalf of the Girl Scouts of America, says that of girls surveyed, expectations of peer relationships, overall self-image, and understanding of how the world works, differ dramatically from habitual reality TV viewers and their nonviewing peers.

To be blunt, it appears to make them more shallow.  Nearly 40% of those surveyed think that a girl’s value is based on how she looks.  That statistic makes my skin crawl, but I get it.

Our society has created an environment where girls feel that the number on the scale and the size of her jeans is a reflection of her self-worth: a world where being “pretty” is more important than being kind, or smart, or funny.

Regular reality TV viewers also accept and expect a higher level of drama, aggression, and bullying in their own lives as well. Given that you can’t go a single day without reading about an incident of bullying and the trauma it causes across the nation, I guess it’s no surprise that so many girls think this is “normal.”

In a recent issue of Life & Style magazine, there was a story about the Real Housewives of Atlanta. They refer to these ladies as “full figured stars” who love being the “curviest housewives.” One of the women is 5’ 10” and weighs 130 pounds and says she likes being a curvy size 6. 

She’s kidding, right? In the U.S, the average woman is 5’ 4” and weighs 150 pounds. Another housewife, the magazine states, is “candid about her size 8 body.” Maybe it’s just me, but the way they’re talking, it seems they expected shame to accompany her size 8 figure. This is why girls are struggling to accept their own bodies!

I’m not blaming reality TV for the high incidence of eating disorders  and poor self-acceptance among girls, but the portrayal of women in these shows is another contributing factor to the problem of the unattainable, “aspirational” images that are held before today’s youth.

So what do we do? Boycott reality TV and close our eyes when we pass yet another billboard with an emaciated model wearing nothing but high heels and a strategically placed perfume bottle? Probably not realistic.

What we can do is talk to girls about what they are seeing and find out what they think about it. We need to encourage every girl to find her own worth and the strength to love her outward and inward reflection and not use the Kardashians as a meter for her success as a human being.

Looks aside, the Girl Scout study also found that nearly 70% of girls who watch reality TV think it’s natural for girls to be catty and competitive with others.

There is also a belief among these girls that “being mean earns you more respect than being nice.” While the study revealed some sad findings, it’s not all bad news.

Even though the report show that tween and teen girls who regularly watch reality TV are more interested in their appearance and believe that gossip is simply a way of life, they do consider themselves mature, smart, funny, and outgoing and a good influence.  

Six in 10 girls, say that reality TV has helped raise their awareness of important issues and causes and almost 7 in 10 girls say that reality TV makes them feel that they can achieve anything in their life. So there are definite good things, coupled with the bad. 

But the next time you hear the cacophony of a bar fight from the Jersey  Shore coming from your living room, ask your daughter what she thinks about what she’s watching. Hopefully, she realizes that these portrayals of “real” life are the exception and not something to aspire to.