How to Communicate with Seniors

Communicating with older adults can be challenging – and frustrating. When it comes to discussing major life decisions, such as selling a home, considering new medical treatments or choosing to transition into a senior living community, the stakes are high and conflict can quickly ensue.

The aging process can affect communication when we fail to acknowledge the goals of the older adults we are engaged with. Seniors are most concerned with maintaining control, because each day they experience staggering losses of strength, peers and health, among other things.

Secondly, seniors are striving to create a legacy and reflect on what their lives have meant. This process drives them to look backward, rather than forward, which can create a stumbling block for family members helping to usher the older adult into the next phase of life, such as bringing services into the home or choosing to move to a senior living community.

At Monte Vista Village senior living community, we have experience helping older adults and their friends and families walk through the lifestyle changes they face. Below are four communication techniques that have proved successful in helping decisions be made, while being respectful of the developmental changes the senior may be experiencing;

1. Let the older adult set the pace of the conversation. And be patient.
   
   Allow seniors the time they need to process all of the information, remain in control and reflect. Remember, adherence to a strict timeline may not be the most effective way to reach a goal, so maintain a flexible schedule.
2. Ask open-ended questions to learn all of the pertinent facts.
   
   Examples include: 
   "What do you think about that?"
   "How do you think that should be handled?"
   "What are your thoughts on this?"
   "What is your plan for managing this situation?"
   
   Ask permission to keep a notebook to record details that emerge as you ask.
3. Offer control whenever possible – and avoid ultimatums.
4. If you hit a roadblock (and you likely will!), try a different approach.

Try to reframe the problem with different language, or change the venue. Inappropriate settings, such as a room with poor lighting or too many people in it, can inhibit healthy discussion.

Most importantly, remember that each older adult is an individual with a history and a mission for moving forward. There is no one-size-fits-all technique, but by understanding where the senior is coming from and trying to go, we can communicate more effectively, and treat them with the dignity they deserve.