Arts & Entertainment
Archaeologists Uncover Ancient Warrior Remains in Greece
A satirical look at current events!
Archaeologists Uncover Ancient Warrior Remains in Greece: US archaeologists in Greece have uncovered the skeleton of an ancient warrior that has lain undisturbed for more than 3,500 years along with an array of fine gold jewelry, an ornate string of pearls, signet rings, a bronze sword with a gold and ivory handle, silver vases and ivory combs. Ancient warrior? Hell, from that list, it sounds more like they may have accidentally disinterred Liberace!
Walmart Testing Drones for Home Delivery: Walmart has become the latest retail giant to ask the FAA to consider their using unmanned aerial vehicles (drones) as part of its customer service. Before approving the request, the FAA says they must first analyze all the potential safety concerns associated with flying drones over trailer parks.
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New Album By Roy Orbison Due Out Soon: Legendary rockabilly singer Roy Orbison, has a new album of original songs coming out nearly 30 years after his death. My question is, how can someone possibly come up new songs so long after they’re dead? He must have had a “ghostwriter.”
Washington D.C. Expected to Sink 6 Inches by 2100: The U.S. Geological Survey says Washington D.C. and the surrounding of the Chesapeake Bay area are expected to sink six inches or more by the year 2100, putting much of the area underwater. And just when you thought Washington couldn’t sink any lower. On a positive note, this is expected to have very little impact on the amount of work Congress gets accomplished.
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NASA Completes Count of All Solar System Rocks: A newly completed NASA survey of space rocks in our solar system revealed 20 new comets and 33,000 asteroids. While I’m a big supporter of the space program, why bother count all the rocks floating around the solar system? It isn’t like someone’s gonna try and steal any of them.
South Carolina Man Arrested With 10,000 Stolen Guns: A South Carolina man was taken into custody after police discovered an estimated 10,000 guns stored on his property which they believe were stolen. Sounds like he’s one of those “good guys with a gun,” only 10,000 times better. Perhaps we should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was just hiding all those guns before Obama has a chance to confiscate them.
Chris Christie Kicked Out of Amtrak Quiet Car: Governor Chris Christie has apologized for getting kicked out of an Amtrak “quiet car” for talking too loudly on his phone while clutching a strawberry smoothie from McDonald’s. OK, but to some degree, you have to blame the crew. I mean come on, why would anyone ever let Chris Christie in a “quiet car” in the first place?
US Concerned Russia May Cut Undersea Internet Cables: American intelligence officials are wary of a new Russian presence near vital underwater communications cables that allow near-instant interaction with the world. Sounds like Putin’s about had it up to here with all the damn cat videos.
