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Astronomers Find Planet with 200-Times More Rings Than Saturn
A satirical look at current events!
Astronomers Find Planet with 200-Times More Rings Than Saturn: Astronomers say they’ve found the first-ever ringed planet beyond our solar system, a super-world with a whopping girdle of halos 200 times bigger than Saturn’s. Or, this may turn out to be yet another example of what can happen when you legalize medical marijuana.
Father of the Birth Control Pill Dies: Carl Djerassi, the chemist who created a synthetic hormone that became a key ingredient in oral contraceptives popularly known as “The Pill,” has died at age 91. My first question for him would be - who the hell would croak on Super Bowl Sunday - unless it’s a Packers fan?
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Police Arrest Man With Body Parts Stuffed in Suitcase: A 60-year-old man has been arrested in San Francisco on murder charges in connection with an incident in which human body parts were found stuffed in a suitcase. Body parts stuffed in a suitcase? I know the airline baggage fees are costing an arm and a leg these days, but this is way over the top!
Lock of Lincoln’s Hair Auctioned in Dallas: A collection of Abraham Lincoln memorabilia that includes a lock of the slain president’s hair has been sold for more than $800,000 at auction in Dallas. In contrast, a lock of my hair just got tossed into the trash basket at Supercuts - of course I’ll be the first to admit that I never freed the slaves either.
Find out what's happening in Malibufor free with the latest updates from Patch.
More Speculation About Bruce Jenner: Kim Kardashian recently put Bruce Jenner back in the news with her comment about Jenner being on a ”journey,” furthering speculation that he may be soon preparing to undergo a gender change. As far as I can tell, Bruce Jenner could be contemplating surgery which would turn him into a duck-billed platypus and he’d still be the most normal person in that family.
Baby Born on Roadside While Mom Driving Herself to Hospital: A pregnant Utah woman pulled off the road, gave birth to a healthy 10-pound baby boy, then continued driving herself to the hospital. On a positive note, at least she can now legally finish the rest of her trip in the carpool lane.
