Cockroach Milk Now the Latest Superfood Trend

Cockroach Milk Now the Latest Superfood Trend: Experts say a rare milk crystal produced by the Pacific Beetle cockroach is catching on among superfood enthusiasts - and that’s because the cockroach milk boasts four times as much protein as cow's milk and is packed with all the essential amino acids. Hell, that means most of the places where I go to eat should never have to buy milk again. My question is, how the hell are you supposed to milk a cockroach?

Trump Claims Dead Soldiers Would Have Loved His Presidency: President Donald Trump made Memorial Day a tribute to himself by sending out a commemorating message claiming that dead American soldiers would have loved his presidency. And while I’m certainly no fan of Donald Trump, I suppose I’d rather have him speaking for the dead than for the rest of us. That said, my guess is the dead are more likely rolling over in their graves - not praising Donald Trump.

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Amazon’s Bezos Says We Must Leave Earth and Colonize the Moon: Amazon boss Jeff Bezos says humans will have to leave the Earth and the planet will eventually become just a "residential" zone. Come on, I mean if humanity wanted to live in a totally desolate place where you can’t breath the air, drink the water and are completely bombarded by deadly radiation - they’d move to Cleveland. About the only reason I can think of to move to the moon would be for the green cheese and hell - I’m pretty sure I saw some of that growing way in the back of my refrigerator.

Scientists Closer to Imaging Black Hole at Center of Milky Way: New analysis of observations from telescopes around the world has brought scientists one step closer to finally imaging the supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way, known as Sagittarius A. Scientists say this should finally provide them with insights into the origins of our universe. For the rest of us - well, we’ll finally get a chance to see where all those missing socks have gone.

Study Says Happy People Live Longer: A new study published in the National Academy of Sciences suggests that older people who are happy have a 35 percent lower risk of dying over a five-year period than unhappy people. Not to mention that even if they do die, they die happy.

People Who Believe Obesity is a Disease Tend to Eat More: New psychological research suggests the “obesity is a disease” message actually undermines important weight-loss efforts because studies show those who believe that message tend to eat more. Hell, then all guys need to do then is just try and figure out a way to convince women that “sex is a disease.”

Trump Says No Apology for Ancestors Who Tamed This Continent: President Trump addressed graduates at a Naval Academy commencement - claiming that “our ancestors tamed a continent” and “we are not going to apologize for America.” I don’t know about apologizing for America, but I do know we certainly need to apologize for Trump.

Airlines Eliminating Limes as Citrus Prices Rise: Its being reported that several airlines have decided to discontinue serving limes as garnishes in their food and drinks as prices for the fruit continue to rise. Meanwhile, critics of the move are labeling this “a lime against humanity."

Judge Orders 30-Year-Old Man to Vacate Parents' Home: A State Supreme Court judge ruled in favor of the parents of a 30-year-old man who had been living rent-free in his parents' Syracuse-area home for the past eight years, after his parents took him to court to have him evicted. As for me - on the other hand - I began sensing it was time to move out toward the end of my senior year in high school, when my mom started wrapping my lunch sandwiches in road maps.

Produce Executive Pleads Guilty to Price Fixing: Frederick Scott Salyer, a member of one of California’s best known farming families and the founder of SK Foods, has been released early after serving three years in prison for price-fixing fruit and vegetables. After passing sentence, the judge asked Salyer “so how do you like them apples?”

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Texas School’s Science Experiment Backfires: A school in Texas had to be evacuated after a science experiment backfired. Angry school board members demanded that the teacher be immediately fired. Not because the experiment backfired, but for teaching science in Texas.

Scientists Find Dandruff on 125 Million-Year-Old Dinosaur: Paleontologists report that the oldest known case of dandruff has been identified in a small feathered dinosaur that roamed the Earth about 125 million years ago. Paleontologists say the entire dinosaur’s fossil wasn’t found, only its “head and shoulders.” But come on - a dinosaur with a dandruff issues? Sounds like “flake news” to me.