Coffee and Soccer

I’ve never understood coffee. It is a mixture of water and the sediment of a very bitter bean. There is nothing sweet about coffee (unless you add it in). It is watery, not creamy (unless you add it in)….. It is brown. It tastes the way dirt might taste if you made tea of it….

These are my subjective views, of course. They have no weight and they mean nothing. But, why is coffee the most universally loved beverage in the world…nothing comes close. People can’t get out of bed in the morning without the promise of a pending cup of coffee. It is a daily ritual for countless masses across the world. People from everywhere love coffee…along with music, it might be the most universally popular thing we have on this planet. I can’t make sense of that…is it the ease in which it can be made..the simplicity of it—the fact that anyone can make it quickly in their own house, or even tent, or campsite?

Would it, however, survive a "Blind Taste Test"?

Soccer is easily the most universally popular sport in this world…in that way it is much like coffee….I don’t deny the grip it has on so many people in Latin America, Europe, Africa, and even (to a much lesser extent) North America. It transcends sport ….people get violent on a regular basis over soccer. There can be a mob mentality, riots, when two popular teams play. American sports is very deep as well but I would say that soccer fans who support a particular team or the team of their country see soccer as being an integral part of their identity. It is so visceral that they could be playing tiddly winks instead of soccer and there would be no less fan frenzy. You can understand Nazism at it’s most rudimentary levels if you understand the passion, fervor, and obedience that soccer inspires.

Have you watched soccer? It is a game played where using the most sophisticated parts of our body is not allowed…..arms and hands are completely forbidden. It would be like making music with an orchestra not comprised of the best instruments man can create, but making it only with trash can lids, and sticks, and making sounds by putting your hand under your opposite armpit and pumping a beat, or using a juice harp. Imagine a race where you had to move as fast as you could on your knees. You couldn’t stand and run on your feet, but you had to run on your knees.

Instead of your hands and arms, the Soccer Gods allow you to use your skull (the protective encasement for the brain) as an instrument with which to strike a ball…if you step back enough (just a little) it almost seems inhumane. Who came up with that idea? Would we use our heads to open doors? Or do maneuver a steering wheel in our car. If so, we might get put in an institution. The crudest parts of our body are the only parts that can be used in the game of soccer (unless you are a goalie).

Now that we have that to ponder….let’s look at how the game is put together. It is equally as crude. There is a big rectangular field (way too big) and at the ends there is a net (goal). Your team has to kick the ball in the goal while the other team tries to prevent you from doing as much. It has that in common with basketball (a little) but the starkest difference between basketball and soccer (other than the important and obvious fact that you can use your hands and arms) is that in a basketball game, the court is much smaller and there are approximately 350 shots on the goal taken during a typical basketball game. Approximately 45% of those go in…that is about 160 “goals” per game.

Soccer, by contrast, is a sport where only about 12- 15 shots are attempted per game…2.78 of those shots (on average) are goals. That is a painfully low number. The point of the game is to score a goal and it happens only 2.78 times in a game. Typical scores are 1-1, 2-1, 1-0….and you can end games in a tie. That is very UnAmerican by nature. I personally find soccer to be about as interesting as a 3 legged sack race, but if there is enough history behind it, and fanfare, and identity, and cultural rage...then even a "sack" race can be a national pastime.

Can you imagine the NBA remaining popular if there were only about 12 shots taken by both teams combined and only 2.78 of them (on average) went in? As a spectator, it would be very easy to take bathroom and nacho breaks and come back and not expect the score to have changed at all….that is a reflection of a game where the balance between offense and defense is tipped extremely far in the direction of defense such that we don’t even take scoring as a serious possibility. Imagine the sport of boxing if only 12 punches were thrown in an entire 12 round fight…and only 2.78 of them connected. Baseball scores approximately 8.5 runs per game…there are many many ways to score a run in baseball other than to hit something into a goal. There are infinite scenarios where a run can be scored—singles, home runs, triples, walks, stealing home, etc.. In soccer, unless someone kicks a ball or strikes the ball with his head into the net…there is no goal.

If you went fishing and the odds of you catching even a single fish were 95% that you would come home with nothing…how much would you fish? If you went bird watching and 95% of the time you never saw a bird….would you not lose interest?

What if there was a game called “finding the needle in a haystack”. They had leagues and teams to fill the league…they built stadiums for spectators to watch, but only rarely did anyone find the needle….it almost never happened…but people stood in the stands and drank beer and cheered while their teams looked in vane for the needle in the haystack…the fans went crazy as the hay was tossed in every direction ….and after a full 60 minutes there was no needle found.

So, why are coffee and soccer so incredibly popular…? Would either of them survive a "BTT"?

My hypothesis is that these activities (coffee drinking and soccer) are popular because of something other than their intrinsic attributes. I can see the intrinsic attributes of a chocolate milk shake or a fine wine….but coffee? Not so much. It is what I would expect the caveman drank only because they had no other options…

I suspect soccer and coffee are immensely popular because of the power of suggestion..and the power of culture. If there was a way we could find someone who never lived in our world, but who had our basic human tendencies (let’s call him Phil)…someone to whom we could expose, for the first time…foods, flavors, and sports. If we created an environment where Phil didn’t wake up and see every household in America brewing coffee before they get into their slippers…if they saw everything being ingested or, in the case of sports, watched at an equal rate…i.e., there is an equal number of people playing or watching every sport…badminton, golf, football, soccer, tennis, etc., all have an equal amount of popularity……what is the likelihood that “Phil” or any infinite number of “Phils” would choose coffee as his/her favorite beverage and soccer as his/her favorite sport?

That is the blindest taste test I can think of…society shows no favoritism towards coffee or coca-cola, or orange juice or hockey, or water polo, etc…it is neutral and therefore, has no influence on “Phil”. Phil is not influenced by what his father did as a kid, or what his ancestors did, or what society does now.

I don’t know the answer to this question.. no one does…but I can’t imagine that coffee and soccer would be anywhere near the top if we had a large sample size of “Phil’s”.

I think it is very easy for us, as individuals, to like something, to prefer something, based on what is popular or normal vs. whether it is intrinsically desirable (as per the blind taste test analogy). This is not an original concept, of course. In China, it is considered a delicacy to feast on a Balot. A Balot is a developing bird embryo that is boiled and eaten…in many cases the bird is very developed, like an aborted fetus…the more it looks like a bird the more masculine you are ...according to Chinese culture.

Most Americans would consider this to be disgusting…but in China, it is normal…it is part of the culture and it is certainly utilitizing the powers of suggestion. If I grew up Chinese there is a good chance that I wouldn't be repulsed by a Balot.

Many cultures eat things that other cultures would consider disgusting…but, this is only due to context, culture and suggestion….

The same can be said for fashion, etc…Look at some tribes in Africa and see how they adorn their bodies….look at how tattoos are now so common place and accepted that even grandma’s get them…but they wouldn’t necessarily choose to get a tattoo in a “BTT”. No one had tattoos when I was a kid except for sailors from WWII. You were almost freaky if you had a tattoo then. If tattoos were not common, how many people who presently have tattoos would get them? That goes for trendy haircuts and everything else…music, etc.

Would Rap music withstand a "BTT”? Would Led Zeppelin? The only data we have to gather an opinion on that is the fact that in the almost 50 years since Led Zeppelin was formed, their music has remained popular with the up and coming generations. It is still considered relevant…If all Rap music were to stop tomorrow, the way all new Led Zeppelin music stopped when the band broke up in 1980, would people be listening to Rap music 36 years later?

I don’t know…I clearly hate Rap so my biases disqualify me from making a guess, though I have a guess based on my “BTT” theory. Would Elvis survive a “Blind Taste Test”? Would the Beatles? I think the Beatles would because it is even now considered to be sophisticated music and it is still copied by many up and coming artists. No one is trying to sound like Elvis.

There can never be a way to assemble a perfectly scientific “BTT”, but it is fascinating to imagine.

Would the Bible survive a “BTT”, would belief in God? Would a society where so few people have a huge overall % of a nation’s wealth while a large % of the population is struggling pass a “BTT”? Would we consider it an acceptable form of society if we weren’t already saturated in the cultural reality and normalcy of it?

Would Abraham Lincoln survive a “BTT”. His Presidency coincided exactly with the unequivocal worst and bloodiest and most divisive 4 years in American history…we had a Civil War (something virtually all developed countries avoid). No other country fought a civil war over slavery except Haiti….yet it was exactly what happened during Lincoln’s Presidency….he didn't prevent it. Might the best President we have ever had in this country have avoided a civil war that killed upwards of 600,000 people, more than WWII and Vietnam combined? Imagine all of the scenarios confronting Lincoln and the one that actually happened was the absolute worst and dealiest of them all. It couldn't have gone any worse. But, from the moment someone puts a spoon in our mouths we are told (suggested) that Lincoln is the greatest President who ever took a breath…we aren’t told to even consider anything else. It is baked into the cake of our culture. There is no discussion.

Some cultures, like the Asian cultures or Jewish "culture", place a very high value on education. If you live in these cultures you will feel the pressure to perform well in school. Academics is highly valued. Others cultures place less value on education and the discipline required to perform well academically. I am not saying that anyone should feel bullied to comply with the cultural norms that exist in his ethnic or regional, or religious group, quite the contrary, I am merely acknowledging the impact of societal and cultural pressure that very often influences our behavior, or the behavior of the masses.

Imagine living in a culture or society where there was an expectation that you were always honest...lying was not tolerated; an expectation that women were treated with dignity and respect and not objectified. Imagine living in a culture or society where greed was not tolerated. You could be greedy but it would be like being a racist...you were not respected by society. Imagine a culture where excessive wealth was considered a mental illness and where not caring about your fellow citizens was considered shameful. You were allowed to not care but you found it hard to be accepted, the way it would be hard to be accepted in our society if you drove while intoxicated or were guilty of a "hit and run" while driving.

Racism is not accepted now....nor is slavery...but there was a time when owning slaves was commonplace...our most dignified and powerful citizens owned slaves. Men like Jefferson and George Washington owned fleets of slaves...and why? Because they were born into a world where slavery was accepted as a cultural "norm". It was not frowned upon, but embraced and accepted. Washington and Jefferson didn't step back away far enough from the picture. Now, society finds this to be repulsive...even the remaining racists that exist in this country would likely be repulsed by something that some of our most brilliant "forefathers" found a normal way of life.

What makes things in a society change? Enough people speak up and voice disapproval...that is how same sex marriage became the law of the land. Enough people were able to shine a light on the oppression...and minds changed....Our culture is still a very very long ways away. We still celebrate the multi-billionaires who do almost nothing for the poor. We still accept the fact that a person can have billions of dollars while walking by people who are starving on the street. Society places NO burden on those people whatsoever to show any compassion. Society tolerates horrendously degrading language used towards women in music and on the streets...it tolerates dishonesty....from our leaders it tolerates an incredibly pathological amount of deceit and dishonesty. Both of our Presidential candidates are considered dishonest by 67% of the voters...but our standards are so low that it doesn't matter how much they lie....it doesn't matter at all. We could have a better society...a much better society...if we demanded it..if we had enough courageous and vocal leaders who spoke up...who pointed in the direction of compassion, and honesty, and integrity, and empathy. Human nature being what it is...I have doubts that day will ever come.

How many things that we do or believe are we doing and believing because of cultural norms, or the power of suggestion, the "hand", sometimes heavy hand, of conformity?

How much true choice do we have? After we have been marinated in our culture, our family, and our peer group.....how much critical thinking goes on? Do we ever get far enough back from the picture to see how things really are? How much of what we think is already determined by where we were born, when we were born, and who are parents are? How much sovereignty do we really have over our decisions and lives?

Food for thought....