Evangelist Claims Death Planet Will Destroy Earth September 23rd

Evangelist Claims Death Planet Will Destroy Earth September 23rd: Christian conspiracy theorist David Meade is predicting the planet Nibiru (aka Planet-X), which he claims is inhabited by an advanced alien race called the Annunaki, will collide with Earth on September 23rd and the only people who’ll survive will be government employees who will safely flee into secret underground bunkers.

Oh crap, I have a DMV appointment on the 24th and it took me forever to get that appointment - not to mention I’m pretty sure my cable company bills me a month in advance. What a waste of money! Is it just me, or do these apocalypses always seem to come at the most inconvenient times? It just doesn’t seem fair.

Now, the only question remaining is which part of our big, flat earth will Nibiru actually collide into? My guess would be one of the Red States as aliens nearly always seem to prefer making contact with people from the deep South - especially if they happen to be living in trailers. And while I’m certainly no subscriber to conspiracy theories, I’ll admit I’ve been busy learning to speak Annunaki, just in case. It doesn’t hurt to cover all your bases and besides, David Meade has all his Annunaki language lessons on sale right now.

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