HARDFOUGHT VICTORIES FOR THE LGBT COMMUNITY...BUT THE ELEPHANT IS STILL IN THE ROOM

It is almost a miracle! The gay and lesbian community has secured for themselves the right to get married in all 50 states…unequivocally….”let the word go forth”...it is done!. Ten years ago this would have appeared to be like “threading a camel through the eye of a needle”, to quote Matthew. Even 3 years ago it would have seemed highly unlikely. After all, This is America, the home of the Bible Belt, and Charleton Heston, and Billy Graham.. Adherence to Christian values is a litmus test for anyone who would be the Republican nominee for President. It is that simple…….this isn’t Holland!

I just didn’t see this coming. It says that in no part of America will members of the same sex be prohibited from becoming a legally married couple. The Supreme Court has spoken…

But, it also says something equally as profound…and powerful….that the gay and lesbian community, and those of us who would support them….have been steadfast and tenacious in moving this incredibly heavy boulder up the steepest of hills against the greatest of odds and numbers. This didn’t come easily….how many gay and lesbian people are there in this country… one study shows that less than 4% of this country is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Being gay was a ticket to the “forbidden island” only a few decades ago (you had to stay in a ”closet”)….for many it was social suicide to admit to being gay.

The gay and lesbian community was ferocious in leading the change…they not only asked for it..they demanded it…they demanded it!…4% of the country demanded justice, and we listened.

You just can’t suppress or subordinate some people..they will rise, sometimes from ashes, even if outnumbered.they will be relentless, knowing that they have justice on their side…the moral authority….

The Jewish community makes up only 2% of this country’s population…yet they are incredibly effective at identifying and challenging anti-semitism, they have learned forevermore that they won’t slump to any challenge to their dignity and equality…..

But, ..a group in this country that is over 50%....is incredibly quiet and collectively impotent when acting on their own behalf. They are grossly immobilized…still subordinated….still objectified. One in 5 will be the victim of rape….I’ll say that again…1 in 5 women and girls in this country will be raped by a man in their lifetime….that is 20%. Are you o.k. with that? Why are we caught up with ISIS when we have rampant and chronic atrocities like this going on in our own country, unabated...since the beginning of humanity?Let’s get a ”grip” on ourselves.

Women are advancing in (some) measured ways…but they still earn 77 cents to every dollar a man earns (for the same work)…they still are grossly objectified by pop culture, the media, advertisers, themselves!!, and most shockingly, by Rap Music..the most popular music of the millennial generation…we are breeding a generation of girls who are surrendering to the incredible misogyny and derogatory depiction….it’s a return to the stone ages. But most disturbing is women’s objectification of themselves....so many live up to the stereotype....so many girls are driving around in their cars singing the lyrics to songs that describe themselves as “bitches”...over and over again....they are drinking the Kool-Aid...they are passive...like sheep heading to the slaughter. Do you think a ”little person” would be singing a song that had lyrics that described themselves as ”dumb midgets”? How many actresses will stand up to the obligatory demand by Hollywood to appear nude in film? It is not even a choice. You want to be an actress...you have to yield to the wishes of the male audience...and appear nude.

Why is it that some (very small) groups can be so effective at standing up to subordination, and yet a group (women) that makes up more than 50% of our population….is incredibly ineffective at speaking for their own best interests….such that when 38 women, credible women…claim that they have been drugged and raped by a celebrity….there are still 1/3 of the people who think they are all lying….that the sex was all consensual and legit. How many women were out protesting Bill Cosby when he was selling out concert halls? It didn’t move the needle. How can that be? If he had exploited gays or lesbians...he wouldn’t be able to get out of his driveway, he would have been stoned in the public square..by (that) 4%.……where were the women when O. J. was set free after viciously slitting the throat of his ex-wife on her door step? How is it that women can be content earning 77 cents on the dollar…how can they accept being depicted as sexual pawns in highly successful TV series like “Mad Men” that celebrate the glory days of seeing women in the workplace as sex toys….a time when the term “sexual harassment” had not even been invented. I watched “Mad Men” enough to know - it should be on the Misogyny Channel...it was offensive, to me!! We as a society, and women particularly, accept these un-camouflaged indignities--they are ubiquitous, and accepted …with nary a speed bump…a part of the fabric of Americana. Would we accept a TV series that celebrates the treatment that gays and lesbians received in the 1960’s with a homophobe as the star depicted uncritically? Would we have a TV series that takes a ”glory days” look at Plantation life in the early 1800’s, with the slave owner as the sexy protagonist? We don’t even have a ratified Equal Rights Amendment in our Constitution that protects women against discrimination. It has been stalled for 33 years yet, 70% of the population thinks we already have one....THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN TO WOMEN.

In the workplace there are some protections…but only in the workplace…in the public square women are under siege. 95% of rapists won’t even spend a day in jail. As a woman, you are more likely to encounter justice if you spill a scalding hot cup of coffee on your lap that you bought at the McDonald’s drive thru.... How can that be?

How many of us parents are indifferent to seeing our daughters enter a society where they are expected to show as much skin as legally allowable....I don’t see men’s fashion drawing more attention to their sexual organs. In some ways it has never been worse for girls and women.....I don’t get it.

If 1 out of every 5 boys and men were to be sodomized or beaten in their lifetimes….if that horrible reality that is now affecting girls and women were affecting boys and men….you can be sure that the courts, the lawmakers, and all the men of this country, to a man, would all grab a shotgun and combat that sexual violence with tenfold violence of their own…..those statistics would change overnight…if not sooner…..and they wouldn’t feel compelled to wear an ever shrinking speedo to the beach.

Women…through some act of appeasement, collective dependence (perceived), or a trance-like obedience to the Marilyn Monroe/Kim Kardashian pop culture image of what it is to be a women, are largely unable to change the calculus of their own victimization?….I see young girls who are more than eager to define themselves by how ”hot” they can look, starting at 13 or 14 yrs. old…how much skin they can show. What kind of America are these girls expecting to inherit,and what kind of treatment by the boys and men in society? Aren’t we raising the next Robin Thicke’s.

I think that, as a group, there are too many women who have bought into the role that they are subordinate to men…they are peddling their sex appeal (and little else), that they are nothing without lip gloss and cleavage….It is darnright depressing--such a waste of a precious and needed resource. I see too few examples of women, especially young women and girls, who represent independence…dignity, self reliance, an indifference to being “hot”. There is a lot of blame to go around…but can’t they see that they are holding the “carrot”…they have the numbers, and the leverage….so why give it away?. I think women are brought up to feel dependent for the most part, unable to run their own lives. A generation ago we had Joni Mitchell, a Titan of womanhood....now we get Katy Perry (in push up bras), Rhianna, Beyonce’, et al.. Two of those women have a history of being with controlling and violent men....Beyonce’ is married to one of them...Rhianna only dates men like that....That’s another message to girls.....all the successful women in music are the property of a “man”. Jay Z might as well have a collar and a leash around Beyonce’. It is so transparent. It’s not about music as much these days for the women... It’s more and more about sex. That is de-volution by any definition. Feminism is a shamed “genie” that has largely gone back into the bottle.

I don’t get it...and, across the globe…men are quite reluctant to give up the choke hold they have on women…they have been brought up to feel entitled, to “have” women, to ”take” women, to control women....in India, Asia, the Middle East, Latin America, Africa. It’s breathtakingly savage!

The objectification and subordination of women is easily the most glaring injustice in the world today…nothing comes even close!!! Did you know that African American (men) had the right to vote in this country a full 50 years before women? Women came in last! Our sisters, daughters, mothers, and wives.....came in last!

I don’t get it!

“the most serious and unaddressed worldwide challenge is the deprivation and abuse of women and girls. There is a system of discrimination, extending far beyond any small geographical region to the entire globe; it touches every nation, perpetuating and expanding the trafficking in human slaves, body mutilation, and even legitimized murder on a massive scale. This system is based on the presumption that men and boys are superior to women and girls” - Jimmy Carter, from the book, ”A Call To Action”.

Food for Thought....