Arts & Entertainment
Ice Cream Maker Blue Bell Reports Listeria Found Again
A satirical look at current events!
Ice Cream Maker Blue Bell Reports Listeria Found Again: Texas-based Blue Bell Creameries, which had to stop production and distribution of ice cream last April after the discovery of listeria bacteria, has announced yet another listeria outbreak at a production facility. At this point, they may as well just come out with a Listeria flavor. These days, about the only thing worse than eating Blue Bell ice cream, is eating Blue Bell ice cream after having dinner at Chipotle.
Florida Says Manatee Should Lose Endangered Species Status: Florida officials are claiming that the West Indian manatee should no longer be considered an endangered species because its population has rebounded so well. Critics dispute those figures, pointing out that the increase in numbers may very well be due to the fact that so many Floridians are often mistaken for manatees.
Find out what's happening in Malibufor free with the latest updates from Patch.
Rare Dime Sells for Nearly $2M at Auction: An extremely rare 1894-S dime, one of only 24 struck at the San Francisco Mint, has been sold at auction for just under $2 million. All I can say is, if I ever ran into the buyer, the first thing I’d like to ask is “hey buddy, can you spare a dime?”
Ronda Rousey Poses in Body Paint for SI’s Swimsuit Issue: UFC fighter Ronda Rousey posed for Sports Illustrated’s upcoming swimsuit issue, but rather than pose in an actual bikini, opted for body paint instead. Now I’m not generally artistically inclined, but it kinda makes me wanna take up finger painting again.
Find out what's happening in Malibufor free with the latest updates from Patch.
Olive Garden Revenue Drops Five Percent: The company that owns Olive Garden announced that its revenue has dropped 5 percent in the last quarter. To be honest, I’ve never been to an Olive Garden, but then again, I’ve never had much interest in gardening.
WHO Says Cellphones May Cause Cancer: A World Health Organization panel says evidence is mounting that cellphones may be as carcinogenic to humans as some cleaning chemicals and other toxins. The organization is urging anyone with further questions on cellphone safety to call their doctor - preferably over a landline.
Business Cards Giving Way to Smartphone Apps: Many business acquaintances are now forgoing traditional business cards and exchanging contact information between cellphones by using apps that send information to online networks like Facebook and LinkedIn. In fact, the technology has become so advanced, hookers can now pass on diseases to customers via smartphone apps.
News Vehicle Robbed During Robbery Press Conference: An ABC7 News Van was broken into and robbed while the crew was attending a press conference held by D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser and Police Chief Cathy Lanier to discuss a Task Force created to fight robberies. After discovering the theft, the station immediately went on the air and reported “equipment robbed from ABC7 news van - no film at 11.”
Colombia Named Happiest In the World: WIN/Gallup International Association’s annual global end of the year survey determined that the happiest country in the world is Colombia. Sadly, shortly after the title was announced, the title was taken away and given to the Philippines.
