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Owner of Mob-Linked NYC Pizza Shop Fatally Shot
A satirical look at current events!

Owner of Mob-Linked NYC Pizza Shop Fatally Shot: Police report that the co-owner of a famed mob-linked, Brooklyn pizza joint - once at the epicenter of a mob war over the theft of a pizza sauce recipe - has been gunned down by a man in his 30’s wearing a hoodie in what is believed to have been a mob hit.
Wow, they killed the pizza guy over a sauce recipe? It must have been a real “killer sauce.” Oh well, another one bites the crust. And the poor man was shot by a guy wearing a hoodie? Apparently Armani suits are now a thing of the past. Police are debating whether to categorize this as a hit, or workplace violence.
One thing’s for sure, the Mafia appears to have a different definition of “take out service” than the rest of us. And with today’s technology - wise guys can simply use an app to order a hit along with their deep dish, double pepperoni-cheese pizza order. How convenient is that? Anyway, it's not personal, it's just business. You know how it is, “live by the pizza, die by the pizza.” Probably another mob family just wanted a pizza the action.
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Now, the only real question that remains is, how long will it take Donald Trump to link it all to the Clintons?