Arts & Entertainment
Scientists Convert Spinach Leaves Into Human Heart Tissue
A satirical look at current events!
Scientists Convert Spinach Leaves Into Human Heart Tissue: Scientists in Massachusetts have converted a spinach leaf into a tiny, beating human heart muscle by seeding the spinach with human heart cell tissue in an eerie experiment that might one day help doctors repair damaged organs.
Wow, what a heartwarming story! Apparently Popeye was actually onto something. But to me, perhaps the most exciting thing about this breakthrough is that one day soon, you may literally be able to eat your heart out - of course always remember to wash the spinach thoroughly before consuming! In fact, Monsanto has reportedly already threatened to spray the new hearts with one of their pesticides.
But of course the big news here is that scientists are finally a-dressing a heart of spinach that will have beets. Now the question remains, would this new spinach heart need refrigeration after being used?
And while many are excited about the breakthrough, the Trump Administration is coming out strongly against the research, pointing out that “the last thing this country needs is more bleeding heart liberals on spinach.” And you know, they may have a point - it’d be just my luck after after they put in the damn heart, they’d have one of those spinach listeriosis recalls. And besides, even if the experiment is a success, the patient is essentially gonna be left partly in a vegetable state.
