Town Fearful Solar Farm Would Consume All the Sun's Light

Town Fearful Solar Farm Would Consume All the Sun’s Light: Confused residents of the North Carolina town of Woodland, voted to kill a solar farm project in their area for fear that the solar panels would suck up all of the sun’s rays to the point of preventing photosynthesis.

What a brave little North Carolina community, fighting back against sun-sucking solar panels! Sounds like these folks are really putting their 4th grade educations to good use. I can almost hear the dueling banjo music coming out of the local chapter of the Flat Earth Society down the road.

Of course, I suppose one could make the argument that shadows can also prevent photosynthesis, so perhaps they should consider banning those also. And while you’re at it, it might be a good idea to look into any hidden dangers in Daylight Saving Time.

But come on now, don’t these people realize we don’t have to worry about things like photosynthesis now that we have programs like iPhoto and Instagram? Its starting to appear that American exceptionalism may be devolving into “exceptionally stupid.” On a positive note, who could have ever imagined that we’d eventually find an entire community that could make even the Kardashians look smart?

Anyway, enough already. All this talk about the sun just burns me up. Meanwhile, in other news from the 12th Century…

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