Victim's Family Wants Talking Parrot to Be Murder Witness

Victim’s Family Wants Talking Parrot to Be Murder Witness: A murder case in Michigan took a bizarre turn when the victim’s family told prosecutors they believe their son’s pet African grey parrot “Bud” was an eyewitness and saw the victim’s wife commit the crime, claiming that Bud has been verbally acting out the murder scene and may be able to recount in court what it saw and heard.

Police say they were initially skeptical - thinking this whole story was for the birds, but when they finally approached Bud, he started singing like a canary.

The prosecutor believes the bird could easily peck apart the wife’s defense, after all - he did have a bird’s eye view of the crime scene. OK fine, but how does one go about cross-examining a parrot? And what happens if the bird decides to take the 5th? What are they gonna do, threaten to cage him? On second thought, I suppose they’d have to anyway, he’d be just too much of a flight risk. Its not pretty when a bird runs afoul of the law.

Now I’m no expert, but any idiot knows there’s a simple way to tell if a parrot’s lying or telling the truth - just give it a “polly-graph.” You might also check his tweets. Personally, I think he’d make an impeccable witness.

When the wife arrived at the station, she immediately asked authorities why Bud was there. She says police lied and told her “don’t worry, this Bud’s for you.” Now she suspects that Bud probably isn’t even a parrot, but actually a stool pigeon. She told police that Bud has always been a bit cuckoo, and then she flipped him the bird. She reportedly told friends that this parrot will live to egret this. Kind of makes you wonder, who ruffled her feathers? I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say perhaps she was just in a fowl mood. One thing’s for sure, if this parrot is allowed to testify, its a good bet that she’ll become a jailbird.

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