Find partners without looking: How to recognize unconscious patterns

Michael Mary is one of the most famous single coaches in Germany. In his guide "Where are you and if not, why?" Is about how singles preventing a relationship unconsciously and how they escape this trap. Because the partner is really easy to find, says Mr. Mary. In the interview, he told ElitePartner how singles are opening up for the right life partner. For more information about ElitePartner, please visit www.singleboersen-gutscheine.de.

Your guide has an unusual message: singles can find the partner without looking for him. Sounds easy, why are there so many singles?

Michael Mary: "The point is that it is really easy to find the partner. However, most singles who have long been looking for him, prevent relationships unconsciously. It is no coincidence, if a single find in spite of intensive search no partner. He has his fingers in the game, usually do not know how. And as long as he is not aware of the problem, he cannot solve it either."

Why is it that the sorting out of potential partners is so much easier than doing so?

"This is not about the much-called disability, but rather, most singles simply want to be sure of the total number. They have lost the "grace of blindness" without which there are no relationships. These singles very quickly judge potential candidates, so as not to admit someone wrong. In these fitness tests, they no longer relate to their counterparts, there is no real, authentic encounter, in which both openly engage. Many singles only check the other and want to find a ready-made relationship - just like a prefabricated house. Relations have to be built up slowly."

The search for "the perfect partner" ends in the - as you call it - ending station longing. How do we get from the end station?

"The first step is to recognize what one is helping to prevent a relationship. When we are aware of this, we develop more openness by ourselves and are really ready to meet others. We slowly build the hurdles that we have created in contact and the other should jump over to prove that he is the right one. We wonder what we actually show the other of us and realize that we have always held back. Only then will we become authentic and refer to each other."

A chapter is devoted to the relationship knot. What's it all about?

"The lost, grace of blindness' must be replaced by something I call 'intelligent stupidity'. This is meant to leave the checklists in their pockets and to meet with curiosity, wonder and wonder. Anyone who stops looking for relationships and instead engages in non-goal-oriented encounters makes amazing experiences. For example, in the course of an encounter in which one is amazed and wondered instead of sorting out, the feelings for each other change. And then, to the surprise of many people, some steps have already been taken to build up a feeling bond."What do you recommend all singles?"Exercise to relate to your counterpart. Take your next date: Whom I meet today, and if it is the strangest person, I will make an interesting meeting for it. I will not judge, but I will be interested in the other. I will not go home and think, "What an idiot". I will think, "Now I have understood more from the other! I will be able to tell friends about an interesting meeting, even if the other is not a partner. "This experience of resolving judgments and changing emotions when you are amazed, wondered and curious can turn into a path Open relationship. You might find good friends or even the right partner."