Whether or not we lost a family member or friend in yesterday’s horrendous event, as Americans we have all experienced a tremendous loss. For those who had a personal and painful tragedy, my heart is broken for you. For those of us who did not, how do we respond to the new reality?
In the book, Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, J. William Worden gives us a to-do list toward recovery. It is expressed by the acronym TEAR:
T – To accept the reality of loss
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What exactly have we lost other than life and limb? I read a blog post by a runner who was not at the event but took it very personally none the less. Her response was to lace up. “It’s ours and you can’t take it away.” The reality of this tragedy may be more slow in coming to people with a less personal connection.
The farther we have gotten from 9/11 the safer we have felt. Now we must accept the ruin of that illusion. We have spent more time being aggravated at airport security than we have being grateful for those who protect us. It has been the vigilance of our security professionals that has prevented other attacks to date.
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E – Experience the pain of loss
The Bible says to mourn with those who mourn. There will be a season of public mourning for those who were killed or maimed, and there should also be a season to mourn the things we are losing as a culture.
Americans have always prided themselves on being a strong, patriotic, and proud nation. We showed our vulnerability yesterday and took a direct hit on our national identity. It’s painful to face our weakness.
A – Adjust to the new environment
When I was a child, I went out to play with the neighborhood kids. I lived in downtown Manhattan. As our community became more gang infested, I ran into some potentially dangerous situations. It wasn’t my fault, but my parents began to restrict my freedom to protect me. This resulted in times of loneliness and isolation.
The enemy, whether it’s home grown gangs, or international terrorists, divides us as a society. We become more suspicious of our neighbors and fearful of highly populated places. While wisdom and vigilance are necessary, I hope and pray that we don’t let the thugs win this one. We will need to find new ways to create community and trust.
R – Reinvest in the new reality
Unfortunately, we do have to suffer the indignities of a virtual strip search to board a plane because of the acts of terrorists on 9/11. We don’t yet know what new security measures will be put in place at public events as a result of the Boston Marathon bombing, but resisting them isn’t wise.
As we join in the discussions, support the security forces, and comply with whatever new regulations arise, we are thwarting the divide and conquer mentality of our enemy. I’m with the blogging runner. We can’t avoid the pain or the changes that will most certainly come, but we can lace up and keep moving.
