If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.
~Haim Ginott
This statement is so true! When I was 15 years old I overheard my mother while she was speaking to someone else. I remember her saying, "Tommy always makes his bed." The funny thing was, I immediately thought, "no I don't!" When she made that statement I had actually had a good week in which I had made my bed every morning. But I knew that I rarely did so at other times.
Well, the next morning came and I was running late for school. I was about to leave my room with an unmade bed. Suddenly my mother’s words, "Tommy always makes his bed," popped into my head. I immediately reminded myself that this statement wasn't true. As I took another step toward leaving, the thought kept pestering me. My mind was engaged in a mental war. I finally conceded that to just go ahead and make my bed was far less painful than to continue with my mental debate.
This process went on for a few days before the “new me” took over. Suddenly I found that I always made my bed, and I did so without missing a day. I did not want to scar a perfect record now. This "thing," whatever took place, amazed me. I did not want to let my mother's perception of me down. My mother had an image of me that I wanted to uphold.
Now, as a parent myself, I understand the importance of the power of praise. I also know that this concept can also work in the reverse. Had my mom said that I was a pig and incapable of doing anything right, I might have believed that. After all, she is my mother and I do trust her. I think that too often we as parents forget this important truth. We get so caught up with recognizing the negative things we don't like in our kids that we forget to praise them.
I like what Zig Ziglar used to say: "Sometimes you have to just catch someone in the act of doing something right, then praise them." My mom caught me in the act of doing something right and then she praised me – and the positive results have lasted a life time.
Make it a point to praise your kids. Don’t assume that they know you’re proud of them. Let them overhear you praising them to others, too. You will be amazed at how much they respect what you think of them!
