Moms Talk Part 1: Should Parents Homeschool Their Kids?

Editors Note: This week our Moms Talk will be split into two parts. The first part includes answers from two local moms who have decided against homeschooling their kids. Check back later for responses from two local moms who do homeschool their children.

What are the advantages and disadvantages to keeping your kids home for their education?

Faith Mellinger, local business owner and mother of two boys (plus one on the way!) writes:

We are still a year away from our oldest being in kindergarten, but our plan is to sign our boys up for public school here in Monrovia. I know people who homeschool their kids (or did homeschool their kids) and it's definitely come a long way from the homeschooling experiences I've heard about, but it's still not for our family.

There are a lot of resources for homeschooling parents now and several groups to get involved with so that your kids can still get the social interaction that many critics believe homeschooling misses out on. However, I still believe there is value to having professionally trained teachers lead my kids along in their studies. As a working mom, I can also appreciate having some time away from the kids, where they learn to separate from their parents and respect the authority of other adults.

There are definitely pros and cons on both sides, and with all the cutbacks to education I can see why some parents would prefer to keep their kids out of overcrowded classrooms where they might not be getting the attention they need. It definitely takes a truly dedicated parent to homeschool a child. There are also a lot of benefits to getting an education outside the home--the influence of peers can be both beneficial and harmful sometimes.

To me, the education we give our children is more than just the tests they take, or the subjects studied in class, it's an insight into how the world works. How to get along with others. Even how to handle both good and bad influences. While I want to protect my children, I realize I won't always be able to, so my best defense is to expose them to the world outside our home while I still have influence over their actions (while they are school age) and hope I can teach them to be good students for others and to make smart decisions in the situations they are presented without me.

Jaime Townzen, Monrovia Mom and stay-at-home mom to two preschool daughters, writes:

I was a fourth grade public school teacher for a short time after college. I’m a stay-at-home mom now. Both of my sisters have been teachers: one chose to send her children to public school, the other started with homeschooling and now her children attend parochial school. I’ve watched all seven of their combined children grow up, and asked a lot of questions, because education is extremely important to all of us.

If anyone could homeschool, why couldn’t previously credentialed teachers, right? But just because a person has the skills to be a teacher doesn’t mean she can easily teach her own children day in and day out.

Whether it’s for religious reasons, health concerns, psycho-social disorders, very specific curricular expectations, or just a desire to be the person always with their own children, guiding every impression they have about every subject and behavior, the families who decide to homeschool can’t do so lightheartedly. Despite all their best efforts, of my family and friends who have homeschooled, some have been successful and others have not.

First, as someone who knows from personal experience, no matter how much you love your children and want to do right by them, sometimes being with them all day every day (especially at certain stages), is not the best choice for the family dynamic. If you’ve experienced even a mommy and me class where your child responded to the teacher’s directions but not yours, and it frustrated you, signing yourself up for daily struggles like this may not be the right choice. You need to know yourself, and your child’s personality, and determine beforehand whether they will mesh well in even the most difficult teaching moments.

You also need to be disciplined. I’ve spoken with people who chose to homeschool so they could all sleep in every day and take vacations whenever they wanted. I’m not sure if that’s reason enough to do it, but either way you need to be sure to schedule time for a full education. I’ve seen terrific, creative teaching of subjects like math and science through cooking and gardening, but these families are disciplined in what each lesson plan is accomplishing. The “teachers” know exactly how each child will appropriately learn and demonstrate their knowledge through every lesson, even if it occurs while on vacation.

And it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you and your child butt heads on math, for example, it can be helpful to have a tutor come in periodically, who can offer another perspective or approach to the subject. Or coordinate your efforts with a local school that has a program for homeschooling families. There are also homeschooling co-ops available, where like-minded parents can partner to use the best of each parent’s skills for the instruction of all the children. So homeschooling doesn’t mean you have to do it all on your own.

Finally, taking advantage of opportunities for homeschooled children to interact with other children and experience a variety of activities is extremely important. Ultimately children grow into teenagers and adults, and for those who can reasonably be expected to join the community and maintain relationships with others, it is important they begin learning and building on communication, teamwork and mutual respect skills at a very early age, especially with people outside of their own family.

I have no intention of homeschooling at this moment in time, but having been witness to enough successful homeschooling families, I know that if we determined it was something I needed to do for our family, I would be able to work it out in a way that could benefit our children and (hopefully) not drive me completely out of my mind.