Moms Talk: Public Vs. Private School

How do you decide whether to send you kids to private or public school?

Monrovia Mom Jaime Townzen, mother of two pre-school aged daughters, writes:

Our kids’ education is a discussion in our house more than any other subject. It leaves me frustrated, anxious, and worried. It seems there is no easy answer, even when options of moving, going back to work full-time or commuting our kids to schools cities away broaden our options a bit.

Patrick and I both attended public schools, K through 12. We have several members of our immediate and extended families who are (or were) public school teachers and administrators, within California and out of state. Even I taught fourth grade in the Sacramento Unified School District in 2001-2002. To say we are advocates of public schools is an understatement. We know their struggles, but also what wonderful educations can be had for children with supportive families.

All that said, most California public schools have fallen terribly short of satisfactory in recent years due to overcrowding and budget cutbacks, and Patrick and I have serious doubts whether we ought to send our children through the public system when their time comes. In this economy, Monrovia Unified may be in the worst financial position they have ever been in, facing more pink slips and site closures in the next few years.

Five years ago, when we bought our home, I hadn’t expected to be weighing so many different decisions and activities around the elementary school four blocks from our house. Or on the students who walk through our driveway after the high school lets out. Certain kids stomp through our flower beds, leave trash on our lawn, and recently smashed my neighbor’s window with a brick. Even they were kindergarteners once. I ask myself daily, “If we can possibly afford to send our kids to private school, why would we subject them to peers like this?”

I don’t doubt the teachers in all of the Monrovia Unified school District are doing a great job in the situation they are placed in. But making our girls one of more than 30 students in an all day kindergarten, or nearly 40 students in upper level math classes in high school--it seems to be more crowd-control than valuable instruction time. And the outlook is that it will get worse before it gets better. We just can’t take our chances.

It used to be that the choice for private school was based primarily on a family’s theological or ethical values, and otherwise it was only very wealthy families who sent their children to private school. Now, there are more private school options, with a wide range of tuitions, and attending private school is no longer so elitist. That said, the process of touring, applying to, interviewing at, and finally signing away our names in blood at a private school is so foreign to me when we are talking kindergarten, not college, that I’ve postponed it as long as I can at this point.

So now the process begins, the discussion continues, and whatever we choose, we know we’ll be supporting our kids education in every way we can, which ultimately is the best way we can help them receive a worthwhile education.

Jenny Shepard, mother of one elementary and two preschool-aged sons, writes:

We struggled with this. Last year we bought and moved into a "Mayflower" district home and were thankful that we would be able to take advantage of public schools after all the raving reviews about Mayflower from friends.

My husband and I both grew up going to private schools so we were excited to see what public schools could offer us. After touring Mayflower and talking with the staff I was left feeling deflated. Let me clarify that the tour was fine, the staff was very helpful and the grounds are great. I do however wish they put a stronger and taller fence instead of flimsy chain link between a well traveled street and the kids from a safety standpoint.

The current economy and its impact on the school system is what left me with a pit in my stomach. I was told that the Monrovia school district needed to raise $500k in order to keep one of the Monrovia elementary schools from closing. Closing a campus would have negative impact on the other schools since it would grow class size on an already stressed system.

We began our private school search. Our concern was that his kindergarten year would be fine, its the subsequent years we worried about since we didn’t see $500K honestly coming in. We thought that the competition would be steeper if we were to have to find space in first or second grade at a private school. We ended up selecting a great private school that our kindergartner is flourishing at. We have a number of friends that are loving Mayflower, Bradoaks, Monroe and Wild Rose, so I think it comes down to a personal choice and belief of where you think your child will flourish.

Rochelle Siegrist, mother of one preschool-age son, writes:

The jury’s still out on this one, but we have some time to decide. Not a lot in today’s world, but some.

Our son is starting a co-op nursery school this summer at 2 1/2 years old. When he was born, I joined a couple of local moms groups and researched classes for new moms and babies. I saw flyers plastered in every children’s boutique advertising classes for navigating the school decision making process, starting with picking the right pre-school for your child.

I thought, "hmm, maybe I’d better start looking at pre-schools," but it seemed a little early, and crazy, at 6 months. I didn’t want to be one of those parents who was worried about which school was going to get my kid into an Ivy League someday and stressing about it from day one. So we waited a bit and took our first pre-school tour at 12 months . I immediately noticed those in attendance were parents of mostly 2 or 3-year-olds. They looked kind of panicked, like they had waited too long. My husband and I sat with our coffee, enjoyed the tours and collected a mountain of information packets.

We completed two applications that year and joined two parent infant toddler programs connected with the two schools we liked the most, where we’ve spent the last year playing, learning and exploring the world of toddlers. We’ve met teachers and parents, made new friends, participated in many helpful discussion groups and most importantly, played and had fun.

This past fall, our Thursday morning co-op toddler group saw an influx of parents of 2 or 3-year-olds, again, looking a little panicked as they joined our group and toured the school just before acceptance letters were to go in the mail. I sat and drank my coffee with the other moms who had joined the group the previous year, watching our toddlers climb the jungle gym, paint, kick a ball and I felt very at peace with where we were at, knowing that our early work on finding the “right” school had paid off.

For us the co-op is the right choice and the day we received our acceptance letter was a day of celebration, to be shared on Facebook and with calls to the grandparents. I know the teachers and parents of our new school will be there to guide us in our decision over the next three years regarding local schools, public or private, and which is right for us. So the question is, “Is 6 months too early to start looking?” My answer: “No.” It’s never too early to make an informed decision and you’ll be so happy, and relaxed, that you did.