A Dream Deferred? I Think Not!

I love my children more than any single aspect in my life. I would do anything for them and I have. But...as a single mom, there are those moments when I fantasize about how my life would play out ad a single woman, traveling the globe and writing! Strange? I think not! I often can picture myself in some small quaint cafe on the Rhine, drinking lattes and eating croissants with fresh butter. I can see me writing passionately about the old woman buying bagels as she fakes a faint smile. Or the sad little dog that passerby's seem to ignore as he whines for some attention..any at all. My dream as a young writer was to travel..meet people from every part of the world. Learn their language, customs and write about my everyday observances.

 At the age of 12 I fell deeply and madly in love with Hemingway... Not Poppa himself..but his extraordinary way of writing that elicits passion and understanding in the reader. I couldn't get enough of his works. I wanted then, to be HIM. ( not the bull fighting or big game hunter which he prided himself in accomplishing) I wanted to be the traveling writer that assimilated himself to any environment perfectly..and write all about it. Instead I married...a few times...had children...a few times...and barely left my home state.

 I wrote about my experiences with everything from horrible math teachers to my best friend,,, my Appaloosa filly. I traveled in spirit and mind and finally at age 28 I moved to CA. But by now I had children to support and bills to pay and my life long dream of being Ernestina didn't materialize. I was mom...teacher..nurse..counselor...bill payer, and writer somewhere tucked into it all.

I still have my far away moments where I'm discussing the evils of the world with great minds over strong dark German beer or arguing over expressionism vs other fine arts forms. I still ponder the great thoughts of the masters of thought.. Socrates and Plato...but I quickly come down from my far away cloud when I smell smoke and realize I singed the chicken cutlets as the smoke detector screams loudly at me. Hey..it was fun if even for a short while..and Poppa would have been proud!