Make it Routine

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Moorpark Mom Week #33

Make it Routine

Kids thrive on and crave routine. The parents who let their children fall asleep on the couch with no particular scheduled nap time or those who let their kids eat dessert without eating their dinner first always bewilder me. Without routine and structure, a young child, like my 4-year old daughter, would run amuck and be a very cranky sleep-deprived troublemaker.

Family rules and routines are an important way to let your child know what’s expected of them. Even young children can do simple chores like cleaning up their toys, setting the dinner table or helping with basic cleaning. Admittedly, corralling the strewn toys found around the house is often a battle and sometimes I pick up the mess myself.

Singing the “Clean-Up Song” while you tidy up may work for some children: “Clean up, clean up. Everybody, everywhere. Clean up, clean up. Everybody do your share.”

Incentives and reward charts work for some parents. These are often easy for a child to understand: “If I use the potty everyday for a week, and Mommy marks off each day on the chart with a sticker, I get a prize.”

You can keep a stash of small toys, stickers or treats at hand for when your child reaches his or her goal. When your child completes the ultimate goal, like being totally potty-trained or giving up his or her pacifier, you may opt to take him or her on a special trip for ice cream or to the store to pick out a larger toy.

Being consistent with rules and schedules boosts your odds of success. It may be hard to stick to your routine 100 percent of the time if you are a working mother or have multiple children, but sticking to your chart or schedule will ultimately let you reap the rewards. Kaila often reminded me that she earned a sticker on her potty-training reward chart and really delighted in affixing the stickers to the poster on the bathroom wall.

Establishing a bedtime routine is one of the most important things you can do for your family. Bedtime is often a very frustrating, drawn-out process. I remember it taking hours for us to get Kaila to sleep when she was an infant. A soothing bath can be the beginning of your bedtime routine. Follow with pajamas and brushing their teeth so you can create a good habit. We always settle into bed and read three books. Kaila knows that after the third book, lights go out and its time for sleep. I know its hard, but establishing a nighttime routine for your family can help you settle into a predictable pattern.

Children get very anxious and overwhelmed when they do not know what to expect or when their schedule changes. Routines help them feel secure and at peace. As a parent, I get stressed out when things aren’t running smoothly in my household as well. You shouldn’t have to run a totally regimented or strict timetable—there' nothing wrong with throwing your routine out the window once in a while and being spontaneous—but getting into a pattern can help children learn to follow rules and consequences.