February 9, 2014 Sunday Sermon

Building a positive relationship with God and with each other

by Burke Owens

Scripture-Ecclesiastes 3 1-8

1-For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away;

7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

Such beauty in that scripture- a wonderfully strong sense of the incredible give and take and ultimate harmony that is at work all the time life. 

Today we continue our 360 search for renewal at Napa First UMC with a closer look at relationship with its many challenges and benefits. 

First a story-

Once upon a time two brothers, who lived on adjoining farms, fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side. Up until then, they had shared machinery and traded labor and goods as needed with out a problem.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding that grew into a major disagreement. Finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on the older brother’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox.

‘I’m looking for a few day’s work,’ he said. ‘Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with?’

‘Yes’, said the older brother. ‘I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor; in fact it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us, but he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll do him one better. See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence- a ten foot tall fence- so I won’t need to see his place or his face anymore.’

The carpenter said, ‘I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger, and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.’

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day; measuring, swing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished the job.

The farmer’s eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge- a bridge stretching form one side of the creek to the other! An excellent and fine piece of work, with handrails and all. And the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming toward him, his arms outstretched. ‘You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.’

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hands.

They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox onto his shoulder.

“No wait! Stay a few days. I’ve got a lot of other projects for you.’ Said the older brother.

‘I’d love to stay on,’ the carpenter said, ‘but I have many more bridges to build.’

A good tale and one that reveals the high road to us, the road that brings us out of discord and ignorance. The bridge that allows us a new perspective where we can see life a little closer to how it really is. You know how people say, in fact sometimes we say it ourselves, that God does not listen or God does not care about the troubles and challenges we face in life? That God doesn’t pay attention to what is happening here or if he does, does not make it right or better? 

Well I think this is a problem of perspective in how we view things. Most of the time we see things from the view of our own personal life, our hopes and regrets, our worries and fears and deepest wishes.  Makes sense, for this is the place we most often are aware of- the identity we’ve developed over time with our likes and dislikes and prejudices which serve as a lens for how we view the world, ourselves and even God. But is this perspective true or honest? I think not. 

Martin Buber, a Jewish theologian and philosopher from Germany, spoke of this unreal perspective, which we too often rely on. He called it the I and it relationship. This relationship is one where we see ourselves as the center of existence while others are mere things or objects. For example, we may see our car as a valuable thing, which we use and possess but we would not want to bring this sensibility to our role as parent or husband or wife or friend. For real relationships are based on what Buber called I and thou, where we base our knowing on mutual respect, appreciation, on seeing them for who they are- fellow children of God, created by the Divine just as we were. Relationships that are based in this type of reality are eternal in their ability to lift us to a higher and broader perspective.

Much like the story we just heard; the two brothers had a falling out and could not see beyond their own I and it view of life. They were determined to let ignorance and fear guide them because someone had to be at fault for this misunderstanding, one of them had to be wrong in order for the other to be right. Which reminds me of a wonderful phrase I learned a while back- ‘Would you rather be right? Or would you like to be happy?’ Those of us in long-term relationships know something about this. In order to be happy or more content or less at odds with our partner, we often have to give up the ‘being right’ part of the discussion.

And frankly all of us are in long-term relationships. For even if we are on our own, we still have had parents or friends or employers or ministers or siblings or exes who we have known for many years, even if they are no longer part of our life. 

And that desire to be right can be a terrible burden at times, especially if it is really important to our sense of self-identity. We give something up when we decide we don’t need to be right, but often what we give up is pride and a false sense of ourselves. Being happy is shorthand for saying, be at peace, be with God, be I with thou. For we all have experienced that sense of connection with ourselves and others; when all are seen and valued and acknowledged; not as better than or right but as a splendid part of Creation. Buber’s I and thou perspective is a richer, more complex, more harmonious way of relating to each other than the too often strident way of being right. 

Like Mendelssohn’s Sonata #6, played by our organist Harold Julander earlier, our lives can be more reflective of the harmony, which is in our soul, of the myriad notes we play that make up the melody of our existence.

Even though we do not usually notice our own music, we can free our perspective so that we are not trapped in that one right, dogmatic way of seeing ourselves and the world around us. I and thou, like the mysterious carpenter who built the bridge in the story, opens up our view so that we see with a wider perspective and with greater compassion and wisdom for ourselves and for those around us. It is closer to the way that God sees us and how the divine actually relates to creation.

One reason we come to worship is to re-connect to our divine soul, that part of us closer to God, that divine spark which is less enmeshed in the daily world. Though all of creation is from and of God, our soul is less caught up in the day to day and so when we re-new our relationship with it, then we re-new our relationship with God. For when we experience our soul, we are getting to know God at the heart of our existence. By building bridges- bridges inside of us, so that we can better know ourselves and so understand our true divine nature and bridges outside of ourselves so that we can encourage the I and thou which is at the heart of this church and at the heart of all humanity. We just need to encourage it, like nurturing a plant in the garden, or like nourishing this wonderfully unique community at 625 Randolph Street.

The Shaker’s in the 18th and 19th century understood the importance of having a strong personal relationship with God as well as building a solid community of believers. One of their songs which speaks wonderfully well to both the I and the thou is 

My soul loves to walk in the valley low

I would like to say a few words about Pete Seeger- what an extraordinary man. You know how sometimes you hear the phrase, when they made that one, God broke the mold. Now I believe, and I think Pete would have agreed, that all of us are unique and amazing beings, each and every one of us. But still…Pete was an original who put his life on the line; he walked the walk and talked the talk. He gave his life to what he believed in for himself and the world. 

Here are some quotes from Pete-

• The easiest way to avoid wrong notes is to never open your mouth and sing. What a mistake that would be.

• Shh… Listen to the sounds that surround you. Notice the pitches, the volume, the timbre, the many lines of counterpoint. As light taught Monet to paint, the earth may be teaching you music.

Please pray with me - Dear God, please re-new our relationship with you and all those I and thou’s we both hold dear in this life. My you be the one we call on in all we do, may you guide our actions and fill our hearts and minds so that we become vessels for your mercy and compassion. Amen.