Virtual OC Big Brother Big Sister Mentors Make Real-World Impact

NEWPORT BEACH, CA — A Newport Beach couple with time on their hands and a heart to help others have made a difference in the life of a Tustin child amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Over a year ago, Chris and Fiona Ivey decided to join the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Orange County & the Inland Empire. Having just sent their last child to college, they were empty-nesters in every sense of the word. But the coronavirus shutdown occurred just as they were matched with Gabriel, a 7-year-old Tustin boy.

After waiting months for a chance to become part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, the Iveys took on the challenge of social distancing. They agreed to be there for their "little brother" Gabriel through the new "virtual mentor program."

Since the pandemic hit, the waitlist of children needing a mentor has increased by 30 percent, a spokesperson for Big Brothers Sisters of Orange County & the Inland Empire told Patch. That waitlist, in turn, increases the need for virtual mentors.

The Iveys were determined to become trusted adults in Gabriel's life, they told Patch. They wanted to make a connection with a child, even if it was remote. Using the tools available to them, they employed use of Zoom, the U.S. mail and time to build a bridge with Gabriel.

After four months since they were all introduced, the Iveys feel they're on their way.

"We've had great conversations over Zoom, and have a real sense of who Gabriel is and what he's interested in," Fiona said. Their conversations get more comfortable every time they share a "virtual visit," she said, but in the beginning they knew getting to know each other would be tough.

Instead of giving up, they got creative.

"We found activities we can do 'together' while apart," Fiona said, adding that Gabriel has brought them a lot of fun.

"We sent Gabriel a small Nerf basketball and hoop with suction cups, and bought one for our house as well," she said. "During part of our Zoom, we attempted to shoot baskets!" The flying foam balls from trick shots, on both sides of the monitors, sent all three into peals of laughter.

The next time they logged in, Gabriel was holding his Nerf basketball, ready to play again. Next, they sent him a Magna Doodle drawing board and, similarly, had one to draw with along with him over Zoom meetings.

Later, they learned he loves the Marvel character The Hulk. They sent him a postcard bearing The Hulk's likeness, which he showed them at another meeting. They also talked about the mail, postage stamps, postmarks and home addresses.

"We continue to send him mail so that he can look forward to going to the mailbox, as well as our scheduled meetings and texts," Chris said.

Now, when they meet virtually, Gabriel often shows them his favorite collections.

"Thanks to technology, we're in his home, we're 'meeting' his dog, his siblings, and seeing his rock and shell collections," Fiona said. All share a deep appreciation for the ocean and the coast. "We've talked about learning more about rocks, together!" she said.

The couple and Gabriel's mother, Maribel, stay in touch between visits via text.

"She sends us pictures and video of what they're up to, and gives us more things to talk about the next time we 'see' each other," Fiona said.

The couple look forward to being done with virtual meets and spending time at Dave and Busters with Gabriel, or taking him to the Aquarium of the Pacific. Still, in their opinion, the virtual mentor program is incredibly rewarding.

Now, when they meet in person, it will feel more like a reunion, Chris said, and they hope that time is coming soon.

"Anyone interested in volunteering should know it's completely do-able," Fiona said. "It's been a wonderful way of getting to know Gabriel before we start our adventures together. We can't wait."

More information about the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Orange County & the Inland Empire is available online.