Hollywood Stories at the Amsterdam Cafe

I get on stage at “Hollywood Stories” at the this last Wednesday night in April and read my poetry. The café, near the intersection of Vineland and Lankershim Boulevards, is eight minutes from my apartment in North Hollywood.

“By the Snake Pit” goes over well. It gets applause, a few hoots and hollers.

“Beneath Time” does not fare as well. It ends to a smattering of applause.

I walk off stage and realize my shirt needs to be dry cleaned and washed. 

Tonya Moon, the host, is generous. She lets me read four more poems and talk about my 18 collections of poetry and 22 books. 

“My new spoken word CD,” I say,” If I may say so myself, is a masterpiece,” and I get a lot of laughs, finally.

Larry Vazeos reads a story about Hollywood and the connection it brings. Outside, he says he likes the Amsterdam because “it’s close” and “the coffee is good.” Vazeos, a book illustrator who lives in Burbank, is making his second straight appearance at the Amsterdam. “I just enjoy reading stories,” the New York native says. Dressed in shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, Vazeos writes about his “memories.”

"I am obsessed with the past,” he says, walking down Magnolia Boulevard.

Mel Kohl, a comedian who frequents the Amsterdam on Wednesday nights, is funnier than ever.

“The people on Jerry Springer love him,” he says with a laugh, “because they’ve never seen a man in a suit.”

Kohl has been doing comedy for over 20 years. “Too long to mention,” as he puts it.

“Boris,” Kohl says, doing one of his many ethnic characters, “you do not know how to treat a woman. You boorish pig.” The café gives him some strong applause.

His shirt unbuttoned to the fourth button and wearing a chain that does not seem to move, Kohl talks about TV's Judge Judy.

“They should send her to the Middle East to solve the problems there … she is both man and woman,” Kohl says in an intense and dead-on observation, though he does not consider himself an observational comic. 

“I have to generally be involved,” Kohl says. “I have characters. The characters … start talking to me.”

Kohl uses his car to improve his comedy.

“To get my mind to quiet I drive,” Kohl admits, “I start playing with the premise. I am thinking. I basically have an idea.”

“If I was on Dr. Phil,” Kohl says on stage, “he’d say you have anger issues.’”

Kohl who says he has “no life” very much enjoys the Amsterdam. 

“I like it because I can break-in material,” Kohl says.  “People are supportive, and you don’t have to fight a bad room.”

Moon, shirt unbuttoned halfway down to the waist, stands on stage and talks about her working days at Hustler Magazine.

“(Larry Flint, the Editor)” Moon says, “was always pushing the envelope. One day he told us he wanted to show black people having sex with white people. He wanted to show all ethnicities.”

Moon’s down-to-earth kindness and love of Hollywood sets her apart from many actresses in Los Angeles.

“I think Hollywood,” says Moon, “is the most wonderful, fascinating place. It’s crazy. This is where all the nuts come before they fall in the ocean.”

Moon talks about a hermaphrodite she met while working for Hustler.

“We both looked at her penis,” Moon remembers, “and didn’t know what to say, so we broke-out laughing.”

Moon’s infectious laugh fills the café. Later away from the stage, Moon talks about why she came to Los Angeles in 1976.

“I came here (Los Angeles),” Moon admits, “to be a makeup artist. Then I decided to become an actress.”

Moon laughs again from her diaphragm. “I have to ramble and talk to people,” Moon explains.  “Based on that interaction I come-up with my ideas.  I can’t sit at home and write. I have to talk it out.”

To Moon, the Amsterdam is like a laboratory. 

“(The Amsterdam) is a great place to be creative,” she says, laughing. “It’s a great place to share.  I want to make it like a gym where they experiment.”

On stage Moon moves on. "Coming-up next to the stage is David Zasloff.”

Come back for part two of Hollywood Stories at the Amsterdam Cafe