"Your Big Mouth and Other Ethical Dilemmas"

Have you ever made up a bullshit excuse in order to break a previous commitment?

It may not be possible to separate personal ethics in your personal life and professional life. Most ethical infractions are minor in nature, such as lying to cancel an appointment. Everyone makes mistakes. There is redemption and forgiveness for everyone. You can reform and clean up your act. But, first you must acknowledge that at times you have crossed over the line.

You're only human and no one is perfect. However, are you confident and credible? Do you put up with unethical behavior? If so, why? What holds you back?  From the following questions below, do you have what might be considered unethical behavior?

• Do you stay in a personal or occupational situation where you know there is unethical behavior? Do you ever question your own integrity?

• Have you received feedback about your integrity and ethics? Have you ever given feedback to someone else about their code of ethics and integrity?

• What excuses do you use in order to stay in an unethical relationship or partnership?

• Are there ethical situations and dilemmas where you are feeling conflicted about whether to speak up/report or not?

• Have you ever been bothered by someone else taking too much credit for something? Do you take excessive credit for something where you might have not deserved all of the credit?

• Have you ever been in a divorce court and were forced to listen to false lies and accusations about yourself or others?

• Have you ever been in a legal situations such as a divorce where you deliberately lied in order to gain a divorce or a legal advantage? Did you falsely accuse someone else?

• Do you constantly criticize your spouse or partner in order to empower yourself? Do you poison your child's mind towards your child's other parent?

• Do you backstab, backbite, betray confidences, gossip, spread rumors, badmouth, trash talk, indulge in showoff behavior, or reveal too much unnecessary information?

• Do you engage in conniving, wheeling and dealing behavior to gain your own advantage at the expense of others?

• Do you negotiate with people and put everything on the table and hide nothing? Are you honest and above board in all of your dealings with other people? Do you lie?

• Have you ever forged someone else's name on a document? Have you ever lied to or deceived a customer, close friend, lover, spouse? Have you ever withheld critical information?

• Have you ever engaged in disrespectful behavior towards someone else, knowingly or unknowingly and have it come back and haunt you?

• Do you have the courage to speak up in the face of massive resistance in order to make sure that ethical rules were followed?

• Are you or do you know some one who displays immense integrity and self-confidence?

• Are you or do you know someone who is intensely aggressive when dealing with people?

• Are you by nature outgoing, talkative, friendly and spontaneous and at the same time have little self restraint? Do you leak company or personal secrets?

• Have you ever been charged or suspected of unethical or criminal behavior when it came to managing company or other money matters or funds?

• Have you had your career or your personal relationships adversely affected or wrecked because of a lack of impulse control?

• Would you consider yourself a person who is capable of delaying gratification? Are you able to think through the possible consequences of your words and deeds?

In Conclusion: Make Careful Choices

If you are considering a relationship, whether business or personal, with someone who is low in self-restraint, I advise that you reject them or at least be careful in your choices. The odds of them creating trouble is very high. However, it is my contention and experience that people with poor impulse control can be helped to handle their impulsivity. In my private practice and experience, I have developed strategies to help these individuals lead productive lives and conduct their careers with integrity.

An example:  I watched a talented basketball player lose all impulse control as he began attacking and abusing the referees. He suffered the consequences. He not only was ejected from the game, he was rejected from ever participating in league play. His loss of impulse control showed a lack of integrity and good judgment.

I have seen the same behavior and mistakes from people in their personal lives and their business experiences. The result is always the same: disaster, conflict, rage, excessive neediness, negative attention seeking, punishment, rejection, failure by using a strategy of self justification and projection of blame onto others.  A positive approach to dealing with and treating these individuals with integrity and impulse problems, is to build on their positive strengths, expose their destructive behavior, and standup to and give constructive, negative feedback on their weaknesses.
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Coaching, therapy and counseling, with my very powerful strategic methods, can change your life to a point of optimal experiences and ecstatic love. Don't waste time. These powerful methods are things that you will never learn in any school. Let my 45 years of teaching, coaching, counseling and therapy put you in that place where you can actualize what you might have missed the first time around. Decide to get busy and prepare to work hard and benefit from the rewards. You're only an email (phannigphd@att.net) or a phone call (818-882-7404) away from greater happiness, joy, peace, and emotional prosperity. Contact me now. What are you waiting for?

Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D. MFT
PsychotherapyHELP
www.psychotherapyhelp.com
phannigphd@att.net
T: 818-882-7404