Euphoria: The First Stage of Grief When Buying a Home

So you’ve heard the hoopla about low interest rates and plummeting home prices and you have finally decided it is time to buy a home.

If you are a first-time homebuyer and haven’t gone through the process I will attempt to guide you through the stages of emotions you might feel. It can be a rocky road but ultimately a fulfilling one once all is said and done. Let me share the stages of a real estate deal so you will know what you are facing once you have found the perfect home for your family.

In order to be the best broker I can be, I attend many trainings and seminars to always bring my “A Game” when representing my clients.  Oddly, a recent trainer compared a real estate transaction to the five stages of grief described in a book called “On Death and Dying” by Elizabeth Kuebler -Ross. Having read and written about this book, at first I chuckled. But after making the comparison I had to agree that there were some similarities. Although not exactly in line with the book, my trainer mentioned some emotions.

1) Euphoria

2) Depression/second guessing

3) Anger/denial

4) Acceptance.

Whereas in a grief situation the emotions usually come in a specific order, they tend to be interchangeable throughout the real estate transaction.  I will write about these emotions in a series of articles and add my professional recommendations on how to deal with them.  Here I will describe the euphoric stage of the process.

Euphoria:  Once you have made the decision to buy and are in the process of looking for a home there is an excitement as you preview homes and try to imagine yourself and your family living in them. You may be verbally or non-verbally expressing: Wow! Look at those beautiful granite counters? What do I have now that will fit in to this space? What can I buy or do to transform this space into my dream home?  

When you have finally found “the one” after weeks or months of searching you start making plans. If all goes well finally you will have a “piece of the American Dream.” You will be a homeowner.

REALTOR recommendations:  Although I do not want to be a kill-joy, consider the type of transaction you are making an offer on. If it is a nicer, home with upgrades, the listing agent will most likely be accepting multiple offers. Be ready to make your highest and best offer on this type of home. However, if you are willing to do some work, choose a home that needs some repairs. If it is in good enough condition to pass the inspection to qualify for a loan and has a sound structure, a diamond in the rough can be transformed into a palace with a little (OK, maybe a lot) of elbow grease.

Short sale situations may further intensify your frustration. The date of closing usually is not exact as is projected in the typical transaction cycle (30 days for a standard sale, 45 days for a short sale) especially if it is a newly listed short sale. If the listing agent has been negotiating with the bank and it is an “approved”short sale, the price the bank is asking will be stated and escrow closing should be less timely. If the short sale has not been approved, the wait is typically longer and the asking price sometimes can be adjusted to be higher by the bank. Additionally, if there is a second loan owed, the bank may ask the buyer to pay a portion of the cost to settle the debt. Even if things are moving slowly, insist that your REALTOR check in with you and not leave you in limbo.

Your REALTOR and lender should strongly recommend that you not make any large purchases or other than normal deposits or withdrawals once you have been approved for your loan. Although tempting, avoid buying new furniture, appliances or cars. This too can cause delays even be a deal breaker.

Next topic: Depression/Second guessing

Lorraine Best the spouse of a disabled military Veteran and is Temecula-based real estate broker and Homes for Heroes Affiliate. An expert in military-related real estate, she is more than happy to answer any questions you might leave in the comment section. She can be reached at 951-233-6334.