In The Mirror

Something I’ve been doing every day to stay on a routine for myself and my beloved pooch hounder, Diego, is taking him to the dog park every morning either before or after I work out.  It keeps him in good spirits (not like he’s ever not), but I think it makes for a smarter, more socialized pet.  Basically, what every owner should want for their animal if they care. 

Diego is always the most popular boy on the playground.  Now, I know you are thinking, “Yea, right.  It’s HER dog!  Of course she thinks that.”  But, seriously!  When we arrive, people are like, “Diego’s here!  Now the fun can start!”  I’m seriously the proudest momma ever.  Which, sidenote****Cracked me up last night because Paxton gets home from work and I always tell Diego, “Say hello to Daddy!”  Paxton goes, “This is not my son.  He’s my dog.”  My response, “No, he’s our child.”  Yes, sometimes I am a bit delusional about my poochie, but damnit, he’s MY baby even if he didn’t pop outta me!  Sidenote done***

So this morning was no different when we arrived, everyone was happy when Diego raced up the hill.  Everyone was happy until Diego got to the top.  Two of our favorite friends were there, Kona and Bali, owned by Brittany.  They are both great dogs, Catahoola mixes.  Kona, the male is a little aloof and sometimes gets really involved in the action, sometimes just wonders around sniffing things.  Bali, she’s a precious ball of energy with one eye blue, the other green.  SOOOO stinkin’ sweet and cute!  And sometimes she’s a little timid so Brittany and I are always telling her to “Get Diego!”  She will bat him with her paw, then run behind Brittany or me.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAdorable!  Well, also there today were Precious and I think his name is Loid?  Not sure.  To any extent they are both Great Danes, and Loid weighs more than me, i.e. about 120 lbs.  These are big pooches, especially next to Diego’s measly 43 lbs.  He’s small and quick though, so he typically picks dogs like these two to start boxing with his Boxer paws, instigating play.  Today was a little different.  Both the Great Danes were really riled up so they jumped on Diego, as well as Bali AND even Kona today.  Diego usually will run because he loves to be chased, and he’s so fast, no one can catch this little fella’.  Today, after we three owners added up the weight of the 4 other dogs, we estimated there was about 400 lbs. of dog coming at Diego all at one time.  Yikes!  Well, Diego was scared, plain and simple.  He wasn’t doing his normal run.  He was freezing in the middle, then periodically biting at varying dogs going from Precious (who was nipping at his neck) on to Loid (who was boxing him with a paw the could easily weigh half of Diego).  Diego was getting picked on by everyone and at the same time.  We kept hollering for him to run, but he was just too scared.  He was feeling cornered, so he was lashing out.  There were a couple times we had to pull the bigger guys back to give him a breather, but eventually I would just run up and down the hill calling him to get him to run.  They all eventually calmed down and played normally, not all bullying Diego. 

I know it’s because of my mindset of change and jumping over ledges despite my fears, but this situation really made me stop and think about how I handle life sometimes, and my dog and I aren’t too different, and I think many of you might fall into this category as well.  Let me explain…

Our lives aren’t that different from a dog park.  There’s a lot of activity, movement, and socializing in all of our lives.  Sometimes it’s difficult to get through life unless we just RUN like hell!  Which is what usually works for Diego too.  He could run through the park, keeping ahead of the pack.  And isn’t that what we are always trying to do in some way?  Keeping ahead of someone…keeping my head, quite simply, above water?  Running, running, running to keep ahead…to keep UP…to even stay in the race for some of us…to keep from drowning in life too.  But today…Diego was even too scared to run.

There have been moments lately that I have felt paralyzed by life and the discoveries I am making about myself…about the changes I have to make….paralyzed in fear.  And then…I lash out.  Thankfully it hasn’t been to others, but it’s to me, and it’s lashing out all the same.  I can feel the bite marks of hateful words that I am a failure…life has bullied me down, so I take it out on myself.  Well…that needs to stop. 

Just like today, Diego needed a little help to get out of his situation…he needed someone to step in and pull the bullies off of him so he could breathe.  We could all use a little help getting that bully called life off of us sometimes so we can simply breathe.  So that’s what I’m trying to remember, at least for today:  that there are people in my life who are willing to pull some of my bullies off me…but the biggest bully I need to get off me?  I should go look in the mirror and tell that jerk she’s looking at an A-Ok gal!