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Believers Find Miracle in Bleeding Communion Wafer
A satirical look at current events!

Believers Find Miracle in Bleeding Communion Wafer: Many believers are flocking to a Catholic church in Salt Lake City which recently became the site of what some are calling a wondrous miracle after a communion wafer - which symbolizes the flesh of Christ - was placed in water and appeared to begin to bleed.
Wow, sounds like someone made the right choice when they ordered those new gluten-free wafers. Meanwhile, throughout the church, many joyous parishioners were heard proclaiming “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus!”
Funny thing is, years ago a friend of mine once had a hemorrhoid that started bleeding - but if memory serves me correct - I don’t think he thought of it as a miracle. Perhaps the most exciting thing about this incident from a scientific perspective is that if this does really turn out to be the blood of Christ, we now have Jesus’ DNA.
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That said, as far as I’m concerned, the real miracle here is that there’s actually a Catholic Church in Salt Lake City.