They Have to Keep Growing Up, Don't They?

I have yet to figure out a way to freeze my kid at a particular age. I'm pretty sure none of you have figured it out, either, otherwise I'm sure I would have heard about it.

When she was a tiny baby, the moments we shared when I had her cradled in my arms, the endless hours I spent watching her sleep... I wanted her to stay that way for always. I remember thinking, "What if when her teeth come in she's not cute anymore?" I really did, as crazy as it sounds, and I'm reminded of it all the time because I have a huge picture of her in my living room that we had taken at Sears when she was about eight months old, as I wanted to make sure we had a photo shoot before those teeth came in and she didn't look so much like a little "baby" anymore.

By the way, I still refer to her as my baby. She's six and a half years old, and I'm not sure I will ever not refer to her as my baby. Or "the baby." Sometimes when I'm talking to my mom, I will refer to my 17 month old niece as "the baby baby."

Well! My kid is ALWAYS going to be MY baby!

She had a first day at Tiny Tots. And I survived that. Granted, it was three days each week for only a couple of hours. So that wasn't so bad. And what a great experience she had there. We loved Tiny Tots.

August of 2011 brought the first day of Kindergarten. I didn't think I'd get through that. Are you kidding me? I have to send my kid to school EVERY DAY? But, of course, since she was only in school for a few hours each day, it wasn't a huge adjustment. And we absolutely loved her class and her teacher and I loved working in her classroom each week. It was one of the best experiences ever, and I felt very lucky that having weekdays off from work meant I could do it. I can't recommend enough getting involved at your kid's school, if you are able. It's really an awesome, amazing thing.

We have enjoyed a ridiculously fabulous summer. A trip to Monterey with friends and her first trip to the ocean. Which, of course, she loved. Since then we've been to Stinson three times. Watching her chase waves and marvel at them is one of the best things I've ever experienced.

So Monday is the first day of school, first day of first grade. And I'm not ready.

She just got some cute new shoes and a really shiny blue pencil pouch. So after weeks of saying she didn't want to go back to school because she didn't want summer to be over, now she's excited to go. Not just because of the pencil pouch and shoes with owls on them, she's also looking forward to seeing her old friends and making new ones. She's a little social butterfly and I love it.

She's ready. But I'm not sure that I am.

Yes. I would like to freeze us in this magical summer, where she is six and a half and she loves it and I'm forty-two and I love it. And I love spending time with her and she loves spending time with me.

But I think of all the other times I wanted to freeze her and keep her at an age, and invariably, she has a birthday and she grows and she learns more and she becomes more interesting and funnier and sweeter, and I enjoy the new age even more than the last.

So this is just a step, a change. A chance to create new memories and have new experiences. But it doesn't mean I'm not crying now thinking about it or that I won't cry Monday as she heads off into her first grade classroom.

What about the rest of you? Am I only one who's hoped to keep their kid from growing up? But I mean, they have to keep growing up, don't they?