Peace of mind or a piece of your mind? Choose wisely!

Has there ever been a time when you really wanted to give someone a "piece of your mind?"  That's an expression we use when we're angry at a person.  We want to tell the other person what we really think. We're burning up and we want to give them a piece of our mind.

Yet what usually happens when we lash out at people and give them "a piece of our mind" — justified or not?  We usually end up accomplishing two things:

First — It alienates us from the other person and erodes our relationships. 

Second It does make us feel a little better but it's only temporary.  The long-term effect of giving someone "a piece of our mind" is that it eats away at our sense of peace and serenity. 

So what's the alternative when we're angry?   What should we do? 

Believe me when I say that I am not one to espouse the "love everyone" mantra.  I think that attitude is naive. I think it's unrealistic to think you can love everyone. 

There are plenty of people whom I just don't like and don't want to be around. Yet, I do think it is possible not to hate anyone. I may not be able to "love" everyone, but at least I can try not to hate anyone. For me, (and I'm just speaking for me now) hating someone is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. What happens instead is I get sick. I become spiritually sick and start to see the world as a hostile, unforgiving place that is attacking me and making my life difficult.  When I hate I have no peace of mind. 

So how do we find peace of mind? First, I have to look at the expectations I put on life and on other people. If I'm honest with myself, most of my expectations are childish and unrealistic. If I had my way, I'd go through life easily and painlessly — highway traffic would clear right in front of me. Every time I shopped I'd get the sale price and everyone would like me and shower me with opportunities and gifts.  But what really happens is that life has its own agenda and it forgot to check with me first. 

So things don't go the way I want and I get upset. Where did the trouble begin?  It began with my unrealistic, childish and selfish expectations about what I think is supposed to happen. 

One of my most trusted spiritual advisers puts it this way:  "I have two types of days — good days and days that don't go my way!" 

Part of growing up spiritually and attaining a sense of peace — a peace of mind — is to realize that I'm a participant in life, but I'm not in charge of life. The only expectation I can realistically have is about how I will act and react, because that is really the only thing I have control over.  Therefore, the ultimate choice is mine. Peace of mind or a piece of my mind. What is your choice?