New workbook for special needs community

Book Explores Healthy Relationships for Teens and Adults with Special Needs.

For most people, relating to other people may seem like second nature. But according to a newly-updated book called “Healthy Relationships,” relating to others can be particularly challenging for individuals with various disabilities and conditions.

“All people want relationships, yet building long-lasting relationships can be very difficult,” said Diana Loiewski, M. Ed., who co-authored the book with Tarane Sondoozi, Psy.D., and Renee Tompkins, SLP. “There are so many nuances to understanding and relating to others – nuances that may not be easily understood by those living with cognitive or other disabilities.”

“Healthy Relationships” is billed as “a guide book for teens and adults with Williams Syndrome, Asperger's, Autism, ADHD, Intellectual Disabilities, Learning Disabilities and other human conditions that may present challenges in building healthy relationships.” The second edition was published by TalkCounts LLC (ISBN #978-0-9852491-2-0).

Even in the general education community, there is ample evidence that individuals have great difficulty achieving healthy relationships. According to statistics from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), one in every three relationships involve some type of abuse, whether physical, sexual, emotional or via texting. The consequence is often heartache and unhealthy relationships.

The risks, however, are even greater for those with non-physical disabilities, because the individual may simply not be adept at reading the cues to the behavior of others. As described in the book, the special-education community needs to focus more on teaching individuals how to be fully present in a conversation.

“This means developing good listening skills,” said Loiewski. “And it’s important to understand what interests the other person while also conveying your own interests. While this may not come naturally for some people with disabilities, it is a skill that can be taught.”

The book also explores how to teach teens and adults how to recognize a healthy versus unhealthy relationship. The authors respond to common questions even in the general education community: If you are in a fight, is it okay to hit? If your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t want you to have relationships with other people, is that okay? Is it okay for your partner to tell you where to go and where you cannot go?

Speech pathologist Lorraine Carter says the book has become her “go-to book.” “Healthy Relationships provides the necessary framework to assist teens and adults in developing appropriate levels of friendships, and more,” she said. “It provides a concrete system of teaching a sensitive subject.”

Added parent and advocate Sherry Young: “I’ve been looking for a book that teaches the unwritten rules for building friendships… Healthy Relationships addresses all of these nuances.”

Co-author Loiewski notes that while students in school are exposed to a health curriculum, healthy relationships and domestic violence are typically not part of the curriculum. She says that she wrote the book to provide adults and teens with what they were unlikely to learn in school.

“Our workbook teaches safety first and foremost, and how to navigate and build healthy relationships,” said Loiewski. “It is interactive, and provides activities, comics and many scenarios to help the reader understand the keys to successful relationships.”

Beverley Alanjary is an advisor in a group home for women ages 24 to 43. “The workbook format makes it easy to guide them through concrete steps to support the formation of lasting friendships and relationships,” said Alanjary. “They often refer back to the book when they have questions, and they enjoy repeating activities. The chapter on safety has changed everyone’s perspective on how to navigate relationships: the women are now much more mindful of protecting their safety, and they have exit plans established.!”

Special-education teachers are already using the book in the classroom and one-on-one instruction. “I work with special-needs teenagers and I use many lessons from this book daily,” said special-ed teacher Megan Brady. “This book is an amazing and necessary resource.”

According to Brady, however, the audience for “Healthy Relationships” should also be the public at large, especially for those teens and adults who have had difficulty striking up or maintaining good relationships.

“It’s a valuable resource of people of any age looking to build life-long friendships,” she said. “In my own life, I use the tools and exercises to support building a deep, loving and healthy relationship with my boyfriend.”

Concluded Brady: “This book is an amazing and necessary resource.”

“Healthy Relationships” is available for $29.95 online through the Talkcounts LLC Web site for $29.95. http://www.talkcounts.com/products.html