Concerned about your child's weight?

Do you have a child who weighs more than you think they should? The Center for Disease Control says more than 1/3 of all children and adolescents are overweight or obese. Childhood obesity has tripled in the last 30 years. I know these statistics are as alarming to you as they are to me. Often parents call my counseling office concerned about their child’s weight and they ask me what to do about it. I hear the concern in their voice and the struggle.  

The most important part of the process is opening a dialogue with your child in an age-appropriate manner about your concerns. Here are some tips to start that dialogue:

1. The starting place for any conversation is a calm environment where there is nothing that has to be done immediately.
2. If you have trouble with your weight or had trouble as a child, tell them something about your struggle and ask them if they have similar issues. Something like, “I think you know that I struggle with my weight and I wonder if you ever feel the same way?”
3. Wait for a time when they bring up an issue that might be connected to their feeling about their weight and then ask them if they have any concerns. For example, they discuss that they are trying to lose weight is a good time to ask them if they have any concerns about their weight. 
4. Steer clear of asking them to go on a diet or finding ways to control their food. There is a lot of literature that shows early dieting can lead to eating disorders when older.
5. Lastly, listen to what they say without judgment. Approaching this subject with negativity or judgment can lead to the child shutting down.

It is important to consider that your child might feel upset about their weight and not know how to talk about it with you (most especially if they are a teen). Being open to having a conversation is the best you can do, and having that conversation in a loving tone is so beneficial. There is much stigma around weight issues, including people name calling or ostracizing others. This stigma about weight can lead to a child or adolescent feeling ashamed of how they look and not knowing what to do about it.

Parents please be sure to consult with your family physician about any medical problems that could be associated with your child’s eating or weight. Lastly, consider seeking the help of an unbiased third party, such as a counselor who specializes in eating disorders and binge eating, to help you start having the conversation. There is no magical cure for obesity and weight issues, but beginning the conversation is the right starting spot.

Kim McLaughlin LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (mfc 27667) and works as counselor in Roseville, CA. Kim McLaughlin specializes in counseling people with binge eating, compulsive eating and eating disorders. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. This blog is not meant to be a substitute for counseling and if you are in need of counseling services contact Kim McLaughlin LMFT here.

Sign up for Kim McLaughlin’s free Special Report: Top Strategies to End Binge Eating here or visit her website at www.feedyoursoultherapy.com.