You can Visit with Dead Relatives- Virtually

You can Visit with Dead Relatives- Virtually

By Aileen Brazeau, Co-owner, San Clemente Villas by the Sea---Senior Retirement Community

 Karen Everett Watson, my gerontologist friend, is pretty savvy when it comes to remembering the lives of deceased relatives as a means for seniors to stay plugged into the present. See here what she says about that….. 

Maybe being an only child contributed to my need to know relatives – both dead and alive. I was always a talker and loved to ask my grannies about all our relatives. I'm sure I was a pest, but I'm very pleased now--that they are both gone-- that I did ask all those questions and wrote down all the names of my now dead relatives. 

One name "Manuervy" was so different that it helped my relative hunting cousin to find a whole branch of the family that no one knew about. You might say we've both been bit by the same relative-hunting bug.  

When my children were still young, I took them back to the Oklahoma countryside where my parents were raised. I wanted them to see where my daddy grew up on the 160 acre farm. Even though the farmhouse was gone and the barn had collapsed, it was a journey I know I will never forget and I hope it is the same for my now grown children. 

We visited the drug store where my momma hung out with friends to drink cokes and eat cashews. I think she met my daddy there. It was love at first sight. During that trip, I also took my kids to see where relatives were buried. We visited a number of cemeteries so we could visit with all the relatives we could find. I told the kids all I knew about each one. Some I knew a lot about. Others I just knew just by name and relationships. It left me hungry to know even more about relatives long gone.

 I know we make fun of Facebook and all the antics that go on there, but I've learned a lot by going there. I've met people; some are actually relatives that I never would have known. In some ways I believe this gives me a better sense of from whom I came, and connections to people who share a common background with me.

A distant cousin of mine became my Facebook friend and she began to post little stories about her branch of the family. The story she told about one of her grannies sounded so much like my own granny's history. Come to find out, they were both born in the same county just a year apart. These two women ended up by marrying into the same family. Again the hunt for dead relatives bug bit me again. 

It was like being led down a path to more relatives and the chase was on. One link was the best – www.findagrave.com .  The site also shows a photo of the graves and gives information on where each are located. Some of the listings have photos of the dearly departed. Some have pretty detailed life histories which I find fascinating.

On this site, I found a photo of my great-great granny that I never would have seen if it hadn't been for my Facebook friend. It's a funny feeling to look at a photo of someone you're actually connected to through blood, but never knew about. I was so excited that I shared my findings on Facebook with another cousin often dubbed the family historian. She was thrilled to have the link with photo to add to her huge pile of family histories.

 Another great thing about the findagrave.com site is that you can put in the county's name, or even the cemetery's name with the family name and bring up everyone who might be related. 

I love seeing these distant relatives whom I never got to meet. It makes me sad that I didn't ask more questions of my grannies and granddads. I now spend a lot more time asking my own parents what they remember about growing up and the relatives they enjoyed time with. I hope none of you dear readers will put off spending time with your elderly loved ones and make sure you get all those great stories written down to share with the next generation and all those to come. 

 Once again, Karen has come up with great advice for you and your progeny. Let’s all go to www.findagrave.com and see how many relatives we can locate.

 Aileen Brazeau, San Clemente Villas by the Sea. Visit us at www.SanClementeVillas.com