BLOG: 7 Tips for Boosting for Bully-Proofing Your Child

I was recently referred to a great website, and I was quite impressed with the information and resources that they share. I found one article about self-esteem that I thought was worthy to share, since self-esteem and self-confidence are elements that I teach in my workshops to help kids not get bullied in the first place.

“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” —Mary Dunbar

The article discusses that self-esteem is the way a person evaluates his or her own competence and worth. It can be influenced by a person’s family, upbringing and environment, but it isn’t inherited like brown eyes or curly hair; it’s taught. Self-esteem can be built and strengthened throughout time or it can be gradually eroded. And no one has more power to build or erode a kid’s self-esteem than his or her own parents.

Research connects low self-esteem with problems like violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, eating disorders, school dropouts, suicide, low academic achievement, teenage pregnancy and being targeted by bullies. By teaching our kids to value themselves and the things they’re good at, they also learn how important it is to be treated with respect and valued by others. A strong self-esteem is a key component to making your child bully-proof; and the article went on to give the following great tips for parents:

Tips for all parents:

• Always acknowledge a job well done. Even if you’ve set an expectation of high performance for your kids, telling them they did a good job helps motivate them to maintain those standards.

• Start with the positive. Even when you’re correcting your kids or pointing out areas for improvement, it’s almost always possible to start with a positive: “It’s great that you passed the math test, but I feel sure that if you put a little more time into preparing next time, you’ll get an ‘A’.”

• If you get angry, explain why you’re angry. And don’t just give negative feedback, explain it: “This disappoints me because I know you’re smart enough to do a much better job.”

• Help your kids problem-solve when appropriate, but don’t always solve their problems for them. Some issues definitely require adult intervention, but others only require good advice. Resist the urge to hand your child a solution. Instead, ask him if he needs your help deciding what to do and then share your views.

• Surrender some domains of responsibility. If your 6-year old cleans his room regularly, focus on that rather than the fact that the Legos are not stacked as neatly as you might have done.

• Ask for your child’s opinion. Kids develop opinions very early; ask them what they are, ask them why, listen to their responses. It doesn’t mean you have to give in to those opinions, just that you should respect them.

• Encourage your kids to walk in another’s shoes. Respect and esteem for others goes hand-in-hand with self-esteem.

I hope that these tips were helpful, and I encourage you to check out Parent Further for more great insight on how you can help arm yourself to help arm your children be stronger and more confident kids! I suggest is to pick one or two of these tips each month and try them out throughout time. 

To find out more information about attending next FREE Bully Buster Workshop at 10 a.m. April 21 click here!