A Bitter Sweet Race

All I could see were faces. 

Faces of women, men, and children who were clapping, cheering, and crying. They were cheering me on. They were cheering for all of us survivors. And, that was when I started to cry.

The . When I decided to volunteer to be team captain for my oncology office, I had no idea what this would bring up for me on a personal level.  I'm thrilled to say that we had 66 team members who raised more than $5,500 for breast cancer research. Wow!

As I got dressed that morning for the race, I remember looking at myself in the mirror as I put on my bright pink race t-shirt with the word "survivor" on the front.  The moment was surreal. It wasn't supposed to be me here wearing that shirt.  

. As I was about to walk in the survivor parade, I see my dear friend, and survivor, Stephanie, and then I spotted Lori.  The three of us walked the parade together, and it felt as though everything happened in slow motion. The crowds cheered us on. I felt happy, special and angry. It wasn't really the way I wanted to celebrate. I wanted to be the one cheering on the survivors.

But I'm here, alive and so grateful for that.  And that is a reason to celebrate.

Will I participate in the race next year? Time will tell. These days I try not to plan that far ahead. I truly try to take it one day at a time. Who knows how I will feel three, six or even months from now.  

What I do know is that I have a lot of life to live. October is breast cancer awareness month. Self-examination and knowing your family history are great ways to be proactive with your breast health, and to help ensure all of us women have long lives ahead.