Easter, Jesus and Monty Python

We’ve just celebrated Easter, and until recently I (and I’m sure like everyone else) simply accepted the fact Easter bunnies were with Jesus when he rose from the dead.

Surprisingly, most people think rabbits—with their dumpling-like bodies, floppy ears and vegetarian habits—are harmless. But these same people haven’t met Monty Python’s rabbit. (Click on the link and you’ll never look at Peter Cottontail the same way again.)  

But we continue to celebrate the bunny at Easter, and as I look around our house I see dozens on the tables, countertops and window sills.

And this underscores another galling characteristic of rabbits: they propagate like they’re on welfare. Take a walk around the San Juan Hills golf course and you’ll find more rabbits than swear words.

But I was curious where this pseudo-religious rabbit originated and how he developed the skill to walk on two legs and carry a basket.

It turns out we can give credit to my ancestors, the Germans, who in the 13th century worshipped several gods and goddesses (no sexism with my folk), the deity Eostre being the goddess of spring (or hop) and fertility.

And, naturally, her symbol was the promiscuous rabbit, even though there were efforts later to have that symbol changed to Octomom.

So spring represented rebirth, and eggs were an ancient symbol of fertility and high cholesterol.

And centuries later when the Roman Catholic Church became the dominant religion in Germany, eggs (and the face of Jesus in a pancake) were associated with his resurrection.

Of course, it’s confusing when one realizes that rabbits don’t lay eggs, but then, this is what legends, lies and political hearings are all about.

The Germans have always been a fun-loving, peaceful people, and by the 17th century their bedtime stories had well-dressed rabbits laying eggs in gardens.

It’s been confusing, but we’ve seen the progression of Easter through the years as the bunnies have taken on cartoonish form like that of Bugs Bunny, Peter Rabbit (not nearly as fun as Bugs) and the aforementioned Playboy bunny (much more fun than Bugs).

But I still haven’t answered the question: Is there a connection between the resurrection of Jesus and Easter eggs?

And I guess the short answer is no. (But answering "no" earlier would have made for a very short column.)

So Easter is certainly a time to celebrate the rebirth of Jesus, but it’s also a time to revel in chocolate rabbits, marshmallow eggs, and anything that will rot out your teeth.

But I’m not stopping with Easter.

Now I have to figure out the connection between Father’s Day and cheap, polyester ties.