New SJC Clinic Has Message for Divorcees

Kelly Klaus has a message for divorcees and soon-to-be divorcees – although some may not want to hear it.

On the surface, her advice sounds Hallmark-ish enough: Keep it simple.

What it really means: Don’t date if you have children under 18.

One of the worst things a parent can do during or after a divorce is to start dating, Klaus said. “The answer is not to get back into another relationship,” she said. “Take a step back. Focus on yourself.”

Three weeks ago, Klaus opened the Divorce Transition Center in San Juan Capistrano. She believes it may be the first South Orange County counseling center to focus solely on divorce.

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When she was doing research for the clinic – which brings independent counselors together under one roof – she found most “divorce centers” were run by family law attorneys who often refer their clients to counselors.

Klaus reverses that: She’s a counselor who can refer her clients to divorce attorneys.

Her potential clientele is huge. The divorce rate is 50 percent nationally, 60 percent statewide and 70 percent in Orange County, she said. Second marriages fail at even greater rates.

When clients walk through the door, they’re usually well into the divorce process. So her practice isn’t about reconciliation. It’s damage control, she said.

What members of divorcing families are experiencing is “grief, death of a family and death of a dream,” she said.

Klaus, a licensed marriage family therapist who works full-time for Tri-City Medical Center in Oceanside evaluating emergency-room patients, put her own advice into action. She was a divorcee for 19 years. Now that her children have grown, she recently remarried.

“There aren’t too many [client situations] where I can say, 'I haven’t been there, I haven’t done that,' because I have been there, and I have done that,” she said.

Klaus wants to teach coping skills, how to restructure lives, counsel the children of divorce and teach adults how avoid making the same mistakes, she said. Besides one-on-one and family therapy, the center will offer group classes and free walk-in question-and-answer sessions on Wednesdays.

The Divorce Transition Center is at 30220 Rancho Viejo Road, Suite E, in San Juan Capistrano. The number is 949-292-7281. The Chamber of Commerce is hosting a ribbon-cutting ceremony there May 10.