'You can fight back from mental illness'

Emery Lambus, 63, an artist who works outside Smart & Final just East of Santa Monica, is fighting.

“Mental illness is not a dead-end street,” he says, sipping a coke under the October sun. “You can fight back. But you got to have some good support and be willing to take directions. You can bring yourself back from total insanity.”

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Emery, a Phoenix native, battles schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, instability and drug addictions, he says. His is the cheering picture of societal dropouts who can work, with support networks and faith, to come back from the edge.

“I still hear the voices,” he says. “They harass me when I don’t go along with the program of doing aberrant things. They’re happy when I’m a total f—k-up. But they get mean and nasty when I’m doing to the right thing – enjoying myself, finding people who enjoy my art, holding conversations with people without mental problems.

Emery strikes the observer an easy-going local with loads of artistic talent. Recently, he was finishing a commissioned splash of pastel colors with four music stars: Frank Sinatra, Michael Jackson, Tupac Shakur and John Lennon. He called it “A Blast from the Past.”

Smart & Final shoppers have taken a liking to Emery, as evidence by more than one buying him a drink or snacks as they head to their cars. He’ll always have some friendly words to share with whoever wishes to engage him.

“It’s a little fun being a non-conformist,” he says, explaining the color bead earrings attached to tufts of hair. “I’m an artist. An artist has got to look a little wacky and a little weird. Once a staunch Republican passed by and frowned at me, so I told him I was going to dye my hair red, white and blue.”

Emery lives a block away from the Smart & Final, which seems to not hassle panhandlers. He uses a walker for a hip-replacement he got 4-5 years ago that has “gone bad,” he says.

Emery blames corporal punishment in the school for his mental illness. A teacher choked him, he said. He transferred from school to school in Phoenix. When he was old enough, he moved to Los Angeles “to get lost” in the big city, he says.

He worked as a stable hand and did odd jobs. It was during a 9-year prison sentence for burglary that he applied himself to fulfill his dream to learn to paint, he says.

“I used to look at a painting, and I would say, ‘Gawd, I would love to do that,’”Emery says. “When I got to prison, I said to myself, ‘I‘m not going to do all this damn time and got get something out of it.’”

He worked as an artist’s assistant for years. By his own estimation, he has painted over 1,000 pieces. He used to paint outside a Trader Joe’s in Hollywood. But because of tiffs with some racists who ran off with his walker, he moved to the West side.

“To be an artist was always my dream, but drugs always got in the way,” he speaks frankly. “I was working hard and throwing it all away.”

His latest stint of sobriety is now almost 20 days. He makes money selling his paintings and taking commissioned works.

“I’m not in it for me not now, not for the dope dealer,” he says. “Now, I’m using my profits to buy higher class materials. Before I would buy economy grade, but now I’m buying professional grade, and the quality is amazing.”

The journey to being cleaned-up hasn’t been easy, but Emery is taking it one day at a time.

“I started struggling, fighting back to sanity, with group therapy and prayer,” he says. “I’m trying to be a dedicated artist but not so much that I get stressed out. If I start to get stressed out, I’ll just sit her and look at people and breathe in the air. I’m my own boss.”